Choices
by ClaryRoss
Summary: At the age of 17 Bella learns she's pregnant with Edwards child. As much as she loves him she can't bring herself to get in the way of his dreams, so she leaves. Four year's later Bella returns to Forks, does Edward ever find out? -Sorry I can't really write a summary but the entire first chapter is a prologue and it tells you everything : Rating may change to M later on. AH
1. Prologue

Prologue:

My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but I go by Bella. I'm 22 years old and I have a son. His name is Masen Charles Swan, and looks exactly like his father, which stings my heart a little every day. Masen and I live in London England; he was born here, but not conceived. Four years ago when I was 18 I learned that I was pregnant. At that time I was living in my hometown Forks in Washington State, back in the U.S.A. I was terrified when I learned I was pregnant, I had only ever slept with one person, the love of my life Edward Cullen.

I couldn't bare the possibility of a baby getting in the way of his hopes and dreams so I did what I thought was right, removed myself and our baby from the equation. I couldn't stay in Forks, I didn't want to hear the whispers of disapproval from people I had grown up with but I didn't know where to go, until my dad Charlie told me of my Great Aunt Emily who lived in London.

My Aunt was 84 years old and lived in a large house in South London. She has a kind heart and an understanding manor about her and was more than willing to allow me and my soon to be child to live with her in London. The day I found out I could was the day I left, I didn't say good bye, I didn't tell anyone except my father. I told him to tell everyone I was accepted to some sort of English program and had to leave suddenly to get settled.

I know it was a horrible excuse but I was scared and all I wanted to do was leave this life and start anew. I changed my email, deleted my Facebook (not that I ever used it much anyway, Alice made me get it) and I completely lost all contact with my friends in Forks, not that they didn't try. Poor Charlie. He's such a good dad; he did so much for me. He didn't judge me at all about getting pregnant, not one disappointing look or one yell or raised voice. He helped protect me from the judgement and trusted my decision. I left Charlie to fight all my battles for me, all he had was the story I gave him. He was let to deal with an out raged Alice and a heart broken Edward.

In hindsight I feel bad about Alice, but she would have told Edward and I couldn't have that. He's too good of a guy to let me raise a child on my own, I knew he would drop everything to help us, including Dartmouth. The only way to make sure he still went onto Dartmouth, his dream school, was to have him never find out.

Masen and I still live with Aunt Emily, and she's just amazing. She's the answer to a prayer I made when I found out I was pregnant. She makes everything easy in such a difficult situation and I have no idea where we'd be without her.

Yesterday my dad had a heart attack and he's in the Forks hospital, without me. I should be there, I have to be there. And I will. I've packed mine and Masen's bags and we're on our way, to the place it all began.

**Okay so thoughts? Like it? Hate it? I promise I'm a happy ending type of person. I just don't want to write this and have everyone hate it so please review! Please? **


	2. Chapter 1: Where it all began

First Chapter! Here goes nothing!

"Mummy, where are we going?" Masen asks from beside me.

I look down at my beautiful son as he rubs sleep from his tired emerald eyes. "We're going on that big aeroplane to visit Grandpa Charlie." I tell him, smiling as we wait to board our plane. He has been asking that same question since I started packing our bags, understandable seeing as we've never been on a trip before.

Masen's eyes leave mine to follow my pointing finger out the window towards the large airplane waiting to take us to Seattle.

"Why haven't we taken a plane before?" He asks, always curious.

"Because usually it's easier for him to come to us, but this time Grandpa's hurt so we have to go to him." I tell him, just as we hear the overhead announcement telling us it's time to board. "That's us Sunshine, are you ready?" I ask him, smiling my goofiest smile at him, trying to make him excited about being on the plane, but mostly not wanting him to be scared.

"Yep!" He squeals full of childlike excitement, as he hops down from his seat beside me.

"Great!" I smile. I stand up, grabbing my purse then stop to help him with his backpack. I reach down to hold his small hand in mine as we walk towards the line at the gate.

* * *

Thankfully the rent-a-car company was true to their word as Masen and I make our way out of the airport doors. We are greeted by a young man about my age, holding a sign labeled "Swan". He's average height with shaggy light brown hair, wearing dark jeans and a green hoodie.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan." I greet him, holding out my ID. Masen is dreadfully tired, leaning against my legs for support as his little legs struggle to hold up his tired frame.

"Hi Miss Swan I'm Jeremiah." He replies smiling, I notice now that his two front teeth are slightly crooked. "Here are your keys," he places a set of car keys in my hand. "Let me take your bags for you Miss." He says gesturing towards the two suitcases standing at my side.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that." I tell him, smiling and shaking my head.

"Actually its part of my job, plus I think I should seeing as this little guy isn't going to make the walk to the car on his own." he replies whilst inclining his head in the direction of the heavy lidded three year old barely able to stand.

"I think you're right, thank you." I say gratefully, stepping aside so he can take our bags. Kneeling down in front of Masen, I gently pull him to me and lift him up, cradling his head against my chest as I follow Jeremiah out towards the parking lot.

* * *

By the time I reach Charlie's house it's early morning. It looks exactly the same as it always has, and I smile at the fond memories that come flowing back. I step out of the car, closing the door as softly as I can in hopes of not waking my sleeping angel. But when I open his door and begin to carefully unbuckle his car seat, his lids flutter open.

"Where are we now Mummy?" He asks groggily as I lift him from the car seat and carry him towards the door.

"We're at Grandpa's house Sunshine. But it's really early in the morning right now so you're going to go back to sleep when we get inside okay?" I ask him, though I know he won't fight me on this, he very rarely does.

"Okay Mum." He agrees immediately as he rests his small head on my shoulder, his bronze hair tickling my cheek.

I support Masen with one arm as I lean down to lift the mat, revealing the spare house key Charlie has hidden there ever since I locked myself out so many years ago. I unlock the door and step inside, shutting it closed behind me. I walk up the familiar stairs and head towards my old room.

My room hasn't changed since I was last here, when I had packed my bags and ran off to London, leaving everyone behind, even _him_. My heart ached every time I thought about him, which was often considering I was raising our son who was the spitting image of all that was Edward's perfection.

I pull the same purple comforter back then lay Masen down on the bed softly. Taking care of his sleeping form I quietly remove his shoes and jacket. Then pull the blanket back up, tucking it under his chin and place a light kiss to his forehead. Then I make my way back outside to lock up the car and retrieve our luggage.

Once everything is inside I finally feel overwhelming exhaustion sweep over me. I tip toe back up the stairs and make my way back to my room. I slip off my shoes and jacket then snuggle into bed next to my sleeping son, having my last thoughts be of Edward as I let sleep take me.

* * *

I awake to the feeling of Masen stroking hair off my face. "Hey Sunshine, how'd you sleep?" I ask as he continues to play with strands of my hair in his small fingers.

"Good, where's Grandpa?" He asks looking around. I sit up since I know my time to sleep is over.

"He's at the hospital. We have to get ready so we can go see him this morning." I tell him, stretching my arms and legs as I stand from the bed. I turn to see his face, pondering this information. His face scrunched up in the most adorable way, his bottom lip slightly pouting out while his brows are furrowed and his eyes remain questioning.

"Does he know we're staying in his house without him?" He asks. My little guy never seems to run out of questions.

"Yes buddy he does, he's waiting for us at the hospital right now so we've got to get going." And with that I pick him up in my arms, carrying him downstairs where I left our bags.

* * *

Once we're both dressed, ready for the day and Masen has eaten a granola bar, we set off towards the hospital.

* * *

"Hey Dad," I greet as I see my father in his hospital bed.

"Grandpa!" Masen squeals and runs hurriedly towards Charlie's bed.

"Hi there Mase, how's ma best guy doin'?" Charlie asks smiling down adoringly at Masen. I pull a chair towards Charlie's bed and sit, pulling Masen into my lap to be more eye level with Charlie.

"I'm good," Masen beams at the term of endearment "Me and Mum went on a big aeroplane and I got my own big seat with a Tele, and got to chew gums so my ears could pop." He explains excitedly to my Dad.

"Wow! That's sounds like a lot of fun." He responds smiling down at him, then his eyes turn up to mine. "I see he's our little Englishmen isn't he?" He asks still smiling, I'm so glad to see him happy after all he's been through.

"Growing up in England, what do you expect?" I answer smiling lovingly down at Masen. "Don't you love it?" I ask brightly, "It's the cutest thing I've ever heard."

"Sure does make him original around here." Charlie says, smiling under is mustache, as he goes back to asking Masen about our trip.

After a little while of joking around and catching up I hear a soft knock at the door way. I turn to see none other than Carlisle Cullen and my heart stops. I look down at Masen and know exactly what he's going to see, a small replica of his son nestled in my arms.


	3. Chapter 2: Easily Recognized

**When I wrote the first chapter I had put in separations so you could tell when a new part of the story was starting. Like when Bella and Masen were in the airport in London, then in the airport in Seattle looking for their rent-a-car. But after I had already uploaded it I realized the lines I made as separations hadn't shown up, so I'm sorry if anyone was annoyed by the sudden changes in the setting. I didn't mean for that to happen but now I'm going to make double sure so it doesn't happen again hopefully.**

**And with that little apology here's the second chapter **

"Bella! What a pleasant surprise," Carlisle greets me with a warm smile. He's dressed in a long white lab coat, opened to show a collared light blue shirt underneath and a pale green tie, then a casual pair of beige coloured khakis. His blond hair was brushed back off his face to reveal his kind, handsome face. He makes his way into the room, my father's chart in hand, until he's standing beside me. I can't help but notice when his eyes dart from mine to Masen in my arms, who's engrossed in listening to one of Charlie's many stories of being on the force.

"Hi Carlisle, how have you been?" I asked, trying desperately to insure this conversation didn't get directed towards Masen, although I knew my hopes were surely misplaced.

"A little better now that you're back in town," he replied with his same warm smile. I blushed and laughed, enjoying the fact that even after all this time, he was still the same kind, loving man that I considered a second father. But then my good mood suddenly died when he asked, "And who's this little guy?" At this Masen turned his head and smiled politely at Carlisle.

"I'm Masen Charles Swan," he answered for me brightly as he held out his tiny hand. I bit my lip to stifle the giggle threatening to pop at how formal my three year old was.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Masen." Carlisle replied kindly, as he took in Masen hand and studied him with curiosity, taking in his perfect porcelain skin, his thick bronze hair and finally his bright emerald eyes. The same eyes that graced Edward's perfect face, the same eyes that graced his. "How old are you buddy?" Carlisle's face remained smiling and friendly but his voice was a soft, hesitant whisper.

"I'm three years old," Masen beamed at him. Carlisle turned his happy face toward mine and his eyes were glazed over with confusion and something I didn't recognize but I feared was hurt.

"Are you getting hungry sunshine?" I asked a little too brightly, luckily Masen didn't seem to notice.

"Yes Mummy, can Grandpa Charlie come with us?" I glanced over at Carlisle and it was his time to turn back to the doctor.

"Well we want to keep Charlie monitored for a little while longer, to ensure he makes a good recovery." Carlisle explains looking from me then to Charlie. "All your vitals look good, we just don't want to take any chances with you Chief."

"Alright if that's what's best Dr. Cullen." Charlie huffed then turned to me, "You and Mase go along. I don't need you starvin' my boy." he grinned.

"Are you sure Dad? We don't have to leave. I can just run to the cafeteria and grab us something." I told him. I didn't want to leave him all alone, it felt wrong. We'd barely been here an hour.

"No Bells you both go eat some real food for the both of us," he grinned again. "Don't you worry about your old man, I'm fine. Carlisle says so. It's not like you can stay with me all day anyways Bells. As much as Mase loves me, he's gonna get pretty bored. Besides, Billy's comin' by to tell me about the ball game I missed." He laughed a reassuring smile on his face.

"You're right." I sighed. "We'll come back tonight though before dinner okay? Just to checkup and say goodnight" I said my worry for him still clear in my voice.

"Sure thing Bells, now go." He laughed again at my irrational worriedness.

"Okay Sunshine say bye to Grandpa and Dr. Cullen" I whisper softly in Masen's ear. Masen hops down from my lap and looks at Charlie and Carlisle.

"Bye Grandpa, bye Dr. Cullen." He smiles shyly at Carlisle. I stand up, grabbing Masen's backpack and slinging over my shoulder.

"It was great seeing you again Carlisle. Bye Dad." I told him half-heartedly as I took Masen's hand and made my way down the hall.

I had missed Carlisle through the years I'd been away, raising the grandson he didn't know he had. Unfortunately the moment was ruined by his recognition of Edward in Masen's young face.

Seconds later I hear footsteps following my son and I down the hall, and know this isn't going to end how I hoped.

"Bella wait!" I hear Carlisle's voice call from behind us. I say a soft "wait" to Masen before turning around to face Carlisle. "It's Alice's Birthday today, and since it didn't seem like you had any plans I was wondering if you both would want to come over to the house with me for lunch. I know she'd love to see you." Although his appearance is friendly I can hear in his voice that his invitation is more an order than a request.

"Uh..sure…..w-we'll see you there." I stutter out, then abruptly scoop up my son and walk us out towards the car, never risking a glance back at Carlisle.

The drive to the Cullen's house feels as natural as it did when I was a teenager, even with my stomach in knots about this lunch. I took the time during my drive to make a list of all the things I knew:

**.**Carlisle knew Masen was Edward's son

.Carlisle doesn't know why I took away his grandson

.Alice and Carlisle and anyone else at the house will know

**.**Alice is going to be livid

.Carlisle wouldn't tell Edward

.Would he?

.No...he wouldn't.

As I continue to suffer with my inner turmoil's I pull up to the Cullen's house. I know that Carlisle would have beaten me here because 1. Cullen's drive like mad men. And 2. I stopped at Charlie's to shower and get changed and bathe Masen. I know it sounds odd for the middle of the day but I couldn't have these people who I haven't seen in years see me with greasy hair and sweatpants or meet my son when he hadn't had a bath since London.

I look around me and see the Alice must have invited the whole town for this, not that it surprised me. I stepped out of the car and go back to grab Masen.

"Why are there so many people here Mum?" he asked curiously.

"Because it's an old friend of Mummy's birthday today and she has lots of friends." I reply to him with a smile as I lift him from his car seat and shut the door. "I need you to promise Mum you'll be on your best behaviour today okay?" I asked my nicest stern voice.

"Okay Mum." He said, giving me a small understanding smile. He's so smart.

"Thank you Sunshine." I kiss his temple as I knock on the door.

"Bella, come in." Esme greets with a kind, loving smile. "And who's this handsome boy?" She asks smiling warmly at Masen. I carefully watch her eyes take him in, and see the recognition just as I did on Carlisle as her eyes widened a fraction before clouding with confusion.

"I'm Masen, it's nice to meet you." He says sweetly as he extends his tiny hand towards Esme, just as he did Carlisle. I saw Esme look at him and give an amused smile as she takes his hand.

"I'm Esme, it's lovely to meet you too." She looks from him to me, "It's so good to see you Bella." She says as she embraces me, and Masen in my arms, in a hug. She still smells the same homely smell of expensive perfume and freshly baked cookies. Her bronze hair is long and in silky waves to her shoulders, her eyes are their same gorgeous hazel and her face lives up to the Cullen name in it's perfection.

"It's good to see you as well." I say, giving her a small smile as I set Masen down on the floor. I look around the room to see it empty.

Esme sees the confusion on my face and says, "Oh, everyone's in the back garden for a barbeque, come." She waves her hand over her shoulder as she turns towards the back door.

"Come on Sunshine, we're going to get you something to eat." I tell him, he nods and reaches up to take my hand as we follow in the direction Esme left.

Once we were out on the porch I took in the familiar surroundings that were crowded with people. All the people I grew up with. I walked Masen over to the table that was crowded with all different types of food, than lifted him up so he could see the selection.

"What do you want to eat baby?" I asked as I watched him quickly lick his lips.

"Can I have a hotdog?" he asked pointing toward the neatly placed tray of hotdogs over to the right.

"Of course." I smiled.

Once Masen and I were seated at one of the many tables I heard an excited shriek from my favourite pixie. I stood up from my seat to see Alice running towards me, her hair perfectly spiked and dressed in an adorable pale pink sun dress that floated down to her knee. (_Picture of dress on profile_)

"Bella! You're here! Oh I'm so happy you're here! I don't even know if I'm allowed to be pissed!" she squealed as she pulled me into a death grip hug.

"Alice! Language." I whispered quickly in her ear and then turned my face in the direction of Masen, sitting in his chair eating quietly and taking in his new surroundings.

"Oh sorry. I didn't know." She said sheepishly.

"It's fine, he doesn't seem to be paying attention anyway." I said smiling at her reassuringly and shrugging my shoulder. "It's good to see you! How have you been?"

"Oh you know same old same old. I live with Edward in Seattle now, taking some design courses at UW." I knew she was bringing Edward up on purpose but I chose to ignore the series of questions I was dying to ask about him. "How about you?" she asked raising one perfectly arched brow, then glancing down at Masen and back to me.

"Oh,…well, I live in London still, I work at a coffee shop there part time while I work on my bachelor's degree in English. Although I just finished it up." I swallowed nervously and bit my lip. I looked down a Masen then back to Alice and said, "And I um…h-have a son."

"Oh, he's darling." She said as she studies him. As I watched her curiously look at my son I'm actually able to see the light bulb go off in her head. Suddenly her eyes snap up to meet mine, confusion and that obvious recognition that he's caused on all of the Cullen's so far, clear on her face.

Alice looked around her then back at me. "Follow me." She said and grabbed me arm attempting to pull me towards the house but I stopped her.

"Alice, I can't leave him." I said, looking at Masen again.

"Mom!" She called in towards a large group of people. Esme came to us smiling, her eyes confused. "Could you watch him for a second while I talk to Bella inside?" she asked.

"Of course." She replies, and at that Alice begins pulling me once again towards the house.

Once inside Alice shuts the door and looks at me, eyeing me cryptically. She crosses her arms before saying, "So when were you going to tell Edward he had a son?"

**Edward's going to be in the next chapter I promise. Please review I love your thoughts as to where you might want the story to go 3**

**So please review? Sorry I had to ask again. **


	4. Chapter 3: Home is Where the Heart is

**Third chapter I want to thank everyone who's been reading and reviewing and liking my story, it really means a lot. **

**Anyways…..here we go! Enjoy…hopefully.**

"So when were you going to tell Edward he had a son?"

"W-what?..I uh,..I-I'm not sure what you…I mean," I stutter out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Oh god, Bella don't even try denying it." She say's holding her hand up to silence me. "Anyone can see that little boy is Edwards, he looks just like Edward did when he was little. How old is he three or four?"

"Three." I whisper.

"So that's why you left?" She asks shocked, nut doesn't stop talking. "I never bought the bull about some program. You would have told me. You would have told Edward! No program would force you to leave so suddenly. Why would you leave because you were pregnant?" Alice asks angrily. When Alice gets angry it's almost as if she's a different person. He voice becomes shrill and demanding, her eyes dark and blazing with fury and her cheeks flush in exasperation.

"I can't do this." I whisper shakily as I turn on my heel and rush. I here Alice calling out behind me but I ignore her. I can't talk about this now, there's no point. All that will happen is Alice go on a little rant about my leaving and never speaking to them again. About breaking Edwards heart, about trying to forget him.

Once I'm closer to Esme and Masen I see how wonderful she is with him, not that I ever doubted it. She's knelt down beside Masen chair as he tells her all about something I can't hear. I walk towards them and his eyes lock with mine.

"Mummy!" He exclaims happily, showing a smile of his perfect pearly whites.

"Hi Sunshine." I say looking at him lovingly. He makes all the pain of missing Edward lessen, just by smiling at me. "Thank you for watching I'm Esme."

"Oh it's no trouble dear, he's wonderful." She says gazing at him adoringly, when she turns back to me I see her eyes are slightly glazed and my heart breaks a little bit more.

"Thank you." I say with a grateful smile, and then look at Masen. "Come on Mase, let's go for a walk." I tell his as I grab his backpack off the chair beside me. He hops down from his chair and takes my hand as I lead him to the trail I know so well.

"Where are we going Mummy?" he asks curiously as we walk down the trail into the forest.

"Somewhere I used to come all the time when I was little, with my friend." I tell him.

When we reach the meadow I see that it hasn't changed much. The sun still continues to shine down on it making it a homely warm. The brome grass is longer though, standing a couple inches above Masen's head. Occasionally the odd wild flower would pop up, giving the meadow some of colour. I walk Masen a little ways into the meadow, carefully making sure to brush the grass out of his way.

As Masen gazes out at his new surroundings I reach into his backpack and pull out his jacket. I kneel down next to him and gently brush down the grass in front of him before laying down his jacket.

"Here bud, you can sit on this," I say gesturing to the jacket. He steps toward it and sits before looking at me quizzically.

"Why are we here?" he asks, his usual curious self.

"We're here, my questioning one," I ruffle his messy bronze locks, their streaks of gold shining in the sun. "because I've missed this place while we were in London." I lay down on the grass beside him as he mulls over this information.

"Are we ever going back to London?" he asks as he snuggles into my side. I kiss his hair and say,

"Of course Sunshine. Once Grandpa's better we'll go home."

"I think this place is home." He whispers.

"Why do you think that baby?" he shrugs his small shoulders, not knowing the answer.

"Can you sing me the song Mummy?" he asks sweetly before he yawns.

"Sure baby." I say gently before I begin to sing him the short quiet song I've sang him since he was a new born infant in my arms. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away." As I continued to sing I heard movement from farther away into the meadow. I shrugged it off knowing it was most likely a rabbit or a squirrel.

By the time the soft lullaby ended I felt his breathing even against my chest and I sighed in contentment. Again I heard more movement through the grass but this time it was at my feet. I turned my head toward the sound and gasped.

"Bella?"

**EPOV**

"Edward aren't you excited to be going home?" Alice asked me from the passenger's side seat.

"No, not particularly." I sighed sadly. Every time I went back to Forks I was met with memories of Bella. Bella..

Pushing Bella on the swing set at school when we were nine, her giggling her musical laugh and begging me to push her higher

Going to movies, dinners, parties, dances, forcing her to go to prom when she insisted she couldn't dance… I chuckle and Alice looks at me like I have to heads.

"Something funny?" She asks.

"Just thinking…" I trail off.

"Well stop it. You can't torture yourself with thoughts of Bella every time we go back to Forks. It isn't healthy." She tells me shaking her head.

"It's hard Ali,…she's everywhere in that town," and in my heart…

"Well try please, for my birthday?" She asks pouting her bottom lip and widening her eyes. "It'll ruin my birthday to see you so sad."

"Alright Alice, I won't let you see me sad." That's as good as she's going to get and she knows it.

"Fine," she sighs.

The drive is mostly silent until we reach my parent's house. I look towards the front door to see my mother running toward my car. I look to my side to see Alice had already leaped from the car and into our mother's arms. I step out and greet my father.

"Hey Dad," I say shaking his hand before he pulls me into hug and pats me on the back. When he releases me he says,

"Son, how have you been?" his smile is warm and loving like he's always been.

"Carlisle get out of my way!" my mother exclaims, playfully pushing my father out of the way as she wraps me in a motherly embrace. "Oh my baby boy I've missed you." She says as she's kisses my cheek.

"Hi Mom," I chuckle.

"Come in and help set up for Alice's party tomorrow." She tells me as she pulls my arm and tugs me towards our house.

The next day everyone in town was at our house, although I was surprised to not see Charlie.

"Mom where's Chief Swan?" I asked curiously

"Oh dear I guess you haven't heard. Charlie had a heart attack a few days ago, your father is actually the doctor on his case." She says with a sad smile before running up onto the porch to greet the Mallory's.

Charlie had a heart attack? I wonder if Bella knows… I wonder if she came to see him.. the Bella I knew would never leave her father in the hospital without seeing him to make sure he's okay.. Although she hasn't been the Bella I knew since she left without so much as a word, didn't even bother to break up with me…

Im awakened from my broken hearted thoughts by a high pitched shriek from Lauren Mallory. Ughh..someone save me.

"Edward!" she shrieks and I swear I feel my ear drum burst. "I've missed you so much!" she says before pulling me into an awkward hug.

"Hi Lauren…how are you?" I cringe.

"Oh good! How have you been?" she asks attempting to sound seductive as she rubs my arm. I cringe again.

"Fine, I have to get going though, nice seeing you." I lie as I turn on my heel and pace hurriedly toward the trail leading to the meadow.

When I reach the meadow I know I'm torturing myself but I brush it off. This meadow is my escape although all it does is recreate all the memories of Bella and I here….

Playing here when we were children… doing our homework here throughout middle and high school… our first kiss when we were fifteen…the first time we made love when we were seventeen…

I sigh and shake my head before walking far into the meadow, pushing through the tall grass. I pat down some of the grass and lay down, relaxing for the first time since I'd gotten here. I look up at the clear blue sky, a rare occurrence for Forks before I feel myself slowly drifting into sleep. My last thoughts of Bella…..

When I open my eyes again it's to the sound of soft murmured voices from far somewhere in the meadow. And then I hear her, she's singing. She never sings….but I'd know her voice anywhere.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away." The song continues its soft melody and until her voice stops and I hear her sigh.

I stand, needing to inspect what I just heard. She couldn't be here…could she? I walk slowly through the grass as I walk I'm able to see a body lying in the grass. I walk until I'm standing at its feet and it's her. She looks the same, her pale features still beautiful and flawless, her big brown doe eyes hidden by closed lids, her hair long and mahogany, streaks of red shining in the sun.

Then I see she's not alone. A small child is curled into her side, his face snuggled into her chest. His hair….the same colour as mine touching her cheek. Suddenly Bella shifts and her eyes flutter open. She turns her head to see me at her feet and gasps, gazing at me with wide eyes. And all I can do…all I can say is,

"Bella?"

**Alright guys that's it :) please don't hate me for ending like that! did you like Edwards POV? i know! Review and let me know! Pretty please? **


	5. Chapter 4: The Truth Shall Set You Free

**4****th ****Chapter! I just want to thank everyone who's been reading, and liking, and following and reviewing! The kind words I've been receiving and the requests for quick updates are a real ego boost and a great reason to keep writing so thank you, I love you all 3**

"Bella?" he whispers quietly. I sit up carefully as not to wake Masen.

His eyes are green pools of so many different things, love, hurt, anger, and most of all confusion. He sounds broken. His eyes look broken. His beautiful face washed over with painful emotion.

I caused this.

I caused this perfect man to look so torn apart.

I can't speak. I can't find any words. My mouth is dry and my heart aches for him. I can feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I have no clue what to do.

Can I run?...No I can't run, Masen's sleeping….Oh Masen! Shit!...He's seen him! He'll know….And I still haven't answered him. I know I have to say something, but what? What can I possibly say?...It's not like I could make this any worse. But I have to say something! I bite my lip, searching for something.

"Edward..uh…w-why?...um, I mean, um…h-how are you?" I stutter out. Oh god, I made it worse. How are you? I flush at my own stupidity.

"How am I? That's it? Four years and you ask me how I am? I'm miserable, depressed, lonely, angry, but most of all Bella, mostly I'm completely and utterly heart broken. How are you Bella? How's your life been in god knows where? I haven't the faintest idea if you live in London anymore o-or if you've ever lived in London. Who knows? I sure as hell don't because I don't know you!" He's furious, speaking sharply and harshly, but maintaining a quiet volume. He seems disheveled, running his hands through his hair repeatedly before he continues his rant, "I thought I knew you." He says coldly, his voice no more than a quiet whisper. "I thought I loved you. Hell I still love you. I've spent the last four years of my life trying desperately not to love you!" He sinks to the ground with his head in his hands, his long pianist fingers gripping his bronze locks tightly.

I wait, making sure he's done. I look down at my son, who's managed to sleep soundly through all this. He looks so peaceful and content, so beautiful….so Edward. I look up again to see him now looking at me.

He looks the same, but different. His face is still flawless and chiseled, his lips full and a dark. Although he's sitting I can see him body is still lean and toned. But his eyes, they look older and much more tired. Their green pools are now so many different things. Love, hurt, anger, and most of all confusion. He sounds broken. His eyes look broken. His beautiful face washed over with painful emotion, as it stares back at mine.

"What do you want to know?" I ask shakily. Slowly standing and pacing in front of him. He thinks for a moment before taking a steadying breath.

"Where'd you go?" he asks steadily.

"London… I've been in London." I answer honestly. Anything he asks me, I'll tell him the truth. I owe his that much. I don't think I could handle lying to him… not again.

"But it wasn't for a program, was it?" although what he says is a question, he says it more like a statement.

"No." I say breathlessly, still pacing.

"Then why? Why so suddenly? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell _me?" _ he pleads.

"I-I was…I g-got…." I trail off, turning away from him, not knowing how I can possibly explain this.

"Dammit Bella!" he says exasperatedly. I turn and meet his angry stare. "I've been waiting for four years to know why you left. I think I deserve an explanation."

"Okay… I was-" I stop when I see Masen stir out of the corner of my eye.

"Mummy?" he says groggily. I turn to see him sitting up, rubbing his eyes before looking at me questioningly, "Who's that?" he asks pointing to Edward.

I look at Edward and see him staring wide eyed at my son. Dammit! I'm getting tired of that 'Cullen recognition look', it's just getting annoying. I turn and walk towards Masen. He gives me his hands and I gently help him up before kneeling in front of him.

"Remember when Mummy said she used to come here with her friend?" I ask and he nods. "Well this is my friend. His name is Edward." He looks from me to Edward and cocks his head to one side before walking towards Edward and staring up at him.

"You look like me." He states. My whole body freezes. When did three years olds become so observant and insightful? Then Masen turns to me. "Why does he look like me?" he asks cocking his head slightly to one side again.

Edward looks up at me stunned and Masen just looks at me with innocent curiosity. I can't answer him. I don't know how. I can't just say it's a coincidence. I can't just come out and say he's his father. So I do the only thing I can do, I stall.

"I think it's time we go back to the party Masen." I say picking up his jacket and stuffing it in his backpack. I stand and ask, "Would you like to walk or have me carry you?"

"I'll walk." He says seemingly forgetting about his question for the time being, before looking at Edward. "Are you coming with us Sir?" he asks sweetly. _Sir…he called him Sir… He should be calling him Dad… _

"Um, yes. I guess so." Edward still looks completely stunned and awed looking down at Masen.

"Alright come on Mase." I say before he can ask any other questions. I hold out my hand and he takes it, walking with my down the trail and back to the party, Edward following close behind. I look around and see a kids table, with games, and craft supplies and at least twenty other children. "Why don't you go play over at that table?" as ask pointing in the direction. He looks up at me unsure, before saying,

"Okay Mum." I watch him walking off towards the other children, I wait until I see him sit down and begin to colour a picture before I turn back to Edward.

"Come." He says before walking off toward the house, obviously expecting me to follow.

He leads me into the house and up the stairs to his old bedroom. It looks the same as it did the last time I'd seen it. Dark blue walls covered with movie posters, the far wall home to a large window, letting in soft sunlight.

I look over at him to see he's staring at me. I squirm under his intense gaze he begins speaking.

"You never answered my question." He says, hands in his pockets as he looks down at his shoes.

I walk over and sit on his oversized bed and sit on the corner of the blood red comforter. I look down at my feet and kick them up and down as I begin.

"I didn't leave for whatever reason you're thinking. I didn't feel trapped, I didn't stop loving you, you didn't do anything wrong." I look up and meet his eyes before looking down at my swinging feet again. "I left because something happened to me, which would change both of our lives drastically. You had dreams of going to Dartmouth and then med school. You were so smart and ambitious; you had the whole world at your fingertips. You were handsome, rich, smart, funny, kind, generous, caring, _loving,…_You had so much ahead of you."

I look up at him and he looks like he's about to speak. I hold my hand up.

"If I stop now, I'll never be able to start again." He nods and I proceed with a deep breath. "I couldn't handle the idea of ruining your hopes and dreams. Looking back on it now, I realize it might not have. But at the time I had my mind made up." I shake my head searching for words. "So I left. My father told me I had a very old, very wealthy Great Aunt in London. I contacted her and told her my problem and she welcomed me with open arms."

I look up at him again and he looks pained. I squeeze my eyes shut and keep going.

"I couldn't say goodbye to you. I couldn't tell you I was leaving, you'd try and make me stay. And I would have. But I couldn't let myself. I made up the story of an English program in London for Charlie to give everyone and I packed my bags, hopped on a plane and tried my hardest not to look back." I bite my lip, thinking again. "I know you've seen that I have a son. I know that's probably the most confusing thing of all but he's the reason for all of this." I look up at him, and he's staring out the window, gazing at the bright summer day outside, before turning his tortured eyes back to me. "His name is Masen Charles Swan. He's three. He's smart and curious and has the sweetest little English accent I've ever heard." I can't help but smile at the thought of his voice. "I had him eight months after I left on February eleventh." I look up again and meet his eyes, brown and sparkling emerald. "I left because I was pregnant, Masen's your son."

**Muahahaha *cackles evilly* come on, cliff hangers are my thing So for the next do you want EPOV? Or more Bella? Please review and tell me! Until next time 3**


	6. Chapter 5: I've only ever wanted You

Alright guys here's the Fifth Chapter hope you like it!

**EPOV**

"Bella?" I whisper quietly, astonished.

She stares at me. I can't be certain if she's shocked or upset at seeing me here, or both. Finally she opens her mouth, only to close it then open it again.

"Edward..uh…w-why?...um, I mean, um…h-how are you?" she asks. Her question sparks anger inside me. I scowl at her, incredulous.

"How am I? That's it? Four years and you ask me how I am? I'm miserable, depressed, lonely, angry, but most of all Bella, mostly I'm completely and utterly heart broken. How are you Bella? How's your life been in god knows where? I haven't the faintest idea if you live in London anymore o-or if you've ever lived in London. Who knows? I sure as hell don't because I don't know you!" I turn away and pace before her, running my hands through my hair repeatedly. "I thought I knew you." I whisper coldly. "I thought I loved you. Hell I still love you. I've spent the last four years of my life trying desperately not to love you!" And with that, I sink to the ground, my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly.

We sit there quietly for a while. I can feel her gaze on me, studying me, most likely trying to gauge my sense of mind before proceeding with this conversation. I lowly lift my head and see her staring at me. She intakes a shaky breath before letting it out and asking,

"What do you want to know?" she sighs out a shaking breath before standing and beginning to pace back and forth in front of me. I think of all the questions running through my mind. Who's child is that, sleeping on the ground?...Is he her son?... Who's his father?... Is it me?.. I push those questions to the side and ask the one I've been waiting to ask for years.

"Where'd you go?"

"London… I've been in London." She says confidently. Huh..so she did go to London…. But I doubt it was for some English program. There would be no reason to hide if she had just gotten into an advanced English class in London.

"But it wasn't for a program, was it?" I state, not really asking, more confirming.

"No." she states blankly, not giving anything away unless I ask outright.

"Then why? Why so suddenly? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell _me?" _by this time my voice is pleading, pleading for answers.

"I-I was…I g-got…." She trails off, turning to face away from me. I jump up to my feet standing behind her, angry she won't look me in the eye.

"Dammit Bella!" I say exasperated. She turns and our eyes meet, their wide and stunned, like a deer in the headlights. "I've been waiting for four years to know why you left. I think I deserve an explanation."

"Okay.." she sniffs, "I was-" she stops dead in her tracks as she turns her head toward the child on the ground.

"Mummy?" says a groggy little English voice. I turn to see the boy sitting up now, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Then he opens them. "Who's that?" he asks pointing at me. His eyes are bright sparkling Emeralds that remind me of my father…and of me. I re-evaluate this child, being able to see his face completely for the first time. His skin is pale and flawless, just like Bella's, but their similarities seem to stop there. He doesn't look like Bella….he looks like me.

He has my hair, my eyes, my nose, hell I think he even has my ears. He could pass for an exact copy of me from when I was about three or maybe four.

"Remember when Mummy said she used to come here with her friend?" she asks and he nods. "Well this is my friend. His name is Edward." He looks from Bella to me and cocks his head to one side. He walks toward me then looks up at me, his eyes curiously

"You look like me." he states simply before turning to Bella. "Why does he look like me?" I freeze. Is she just going to come right out and say it.? I know he's my son, he has to be. He can't look so much like me and not be. But I have to hear her say it. I look over at Bella and she's frozen, eyes wide in shock.

"I think it's time we go back to the party Masen." She says curtly. His name is Masen, one of my middle names… I can't help but notice she didn't answer his question. She leans down and picks up the jacket Masen had been sleeping on and stuffs it in a small blue backpack. "Would you like to walk or have me carry you?" she asks him, her voice stern and unwavering, letting him and me know that she's not answering that question for him.

"I'll walk." He says, choosing to put his question aside for later I'm guessing. Smart. Then her asks me, "Are you coming with us Sir?" I'm momentarily startled by his formality, it's quite endearing.

"Um, yes. I guess so." I answer him, still awed by his personality.

"Alright come on Mase." She tells him. I follow them down the path and out of the forest, wondering when I'll be able to talk to Bella again.

Once we're back to the party the backyard is somehow even more crowded than it was before. Bella leans down and says something to Masen I can't quite hear, but she's pointing towards the kids table. Eventually he nods and walks off to the other children. I walk up to Bella and tell her to come with me and then lead her through the crowd, into the house and up the stairs, out of ear shot of everyone.

She walks into my bedroom and sits down on the corner of my bed, I can't help but like the sight of her on my bed, but I shake those thoughts out of my head.

"You never answered my question." I tell her, looking down at my shoes. She takes a moment before beginning.

"I didn't leave for whatever reason you're thinking. I didn't feel trapped, I didn't stop loving you, you didn't do anything wrong." Relief flows through me for the first time. She meets my eyes before looking down at her feet, swinging them up and down. . "I left because something happened to me, which would change both of our lives drastically. You had dreams of going to Dartmouth and then med school. You were so smart and ambitious; you had the whole world at your fingertips. You were handsome, rich, smart, funny, kind, generous, caring, _loving,…_You had so much ahead of you."

I can't believe I'm hearing this, she's all I'd ever wanted. I never even went to Dartmouth… I open my mouth to tell her but she stops me, holding up her small hand.

"If I stop now, I'll never be able to start again." I nod and let her continue. "I couldn't handle the idea of ruining your hopes and dreams. Looking back on it now, I realize it might not have. But at the time I had my mind made up." He words are stabbing at my heart, killing me slowly. "So I left. My father told me I had a very old, very wealthy Great Aunt in London. I contacted her and told her my problem and she welcomed me with open arms. I couldn't say goodbye to you. I couldn't tell you I was leaving; you'd try and make me stay. And I would have. But I couldn't let myself. I made up the story of an English program in London for Charlie to give everyone and I packed my bags, hopped on a plane and tried my hardest not to look back." She bite's her lip, "I know you've seen that I have a son. I know that's probably the most confusing thing of all but he's the reason for all of this." _No, Bella…_"His name is Masen Charles Swan. He's three. He's smart and curious and has the sweetest little English accent I've ever heard." She smiles slightly, pride radiating from her beautiful face, just at the thought of her son. "I had him eight months after I left on February eleventh. I left because I was pregnant, Masen's your son."

She said it. I knew it, but I didn't. I'm not surprised but I'm stunned. I can't speak, words won't come.

I have a son.

With Bella.

She ran away with him, to London.

He doesn't know me.

He's already three.

"Edward, please say something." She begs. But I can't. I remain silent and motionless. I hear her move off the bed and suddenly she's in front of me. "Say something, anything." I just stare into her eyes. She frowns and turns away frustrated. "Please. Get angry, kick me out, say you never want to see me again, scream, anything! This silence is killing me." her frown is deeper and her eyes are glazed. _Oh no…. I can't handle when she cries…._then I see a tear slowly roll down her cheek.

"Bella please don't cry." I plead with her. She turns away, wiping her cheeks.

She sniffles, "I'm not crying." But her voice is cracking and it's unbearable. As angry as I am with her, as shocked and confused I might be, I can't let her cry. I walk toward her and pull her into my arms. I feel her tears stain my shirt as she snuggles her head against my chest. "I'm sorry." She whispers, clutching my dress shirt with one hand.

"Hush love." I tell her, rubbing her back. Eventually she stops, but doesn't leave my embrace. She feels so right in my arms, my missing piece. She still smells the heavenly scent of strawberries and freesias. Eventually she steps away from me and looks into my eyes.

"I should go," she sighs, turning to leave, but I grab her arm.

"You can't leave. We haven't talked about anything." I say to her in utter disbelief. "I have a son. Don't you think we should talk about that?"

"What do you want to talk about?" she asks lifting her arms for emphasis. She looks sad and broken. "Masen and I have to go back to England in a few days."

I hadn't thought about that. She lives in England, they have a life and a home there, a life and a home away from me.

"What about being a part of our sons life?" I ask confused.

"I don't expect that from you. You have a life here. We have a life there. You have school and family and friends," she pauses, "maybe a girlfriend? I have a job in England. I love it there. I love that Masen will grow up with an English accent, I love the beauty and the culture and the history of London. My Great Aunt Emily lives there, I couldn't leave her, she's the sweetest kindest old woman I've ever met."

"Bella you can't be serious. You can't come here, tell me I have a son and take him away just like that." I tell her exasperated, running my hands through my hair.

"I came here because Charlie had a heart attack and I couldn't leave Masen all the way back in England without me. I didn't know you'd be here, I forgot all about Alice's birthday until Carlisle happened to be the doctor helping my father. And then everything just spun out of control." She sinks to the ground, hiding her face in her knees, in a curtain of mahogany hair. "This wasn't supposed to happen." She whispers. I fall to my knees in front of her, listening. "I was supposed to go to England and never come back. I would be content with my life because at least I had a part of you with Me." she sniffles. "You were supposed to live out your dreams and then meet some nice blond type of house wife and live in the suburbs with the kids that you had at an appropriate time." She sighs, "You were supposed to forget about me and never know about Masen.

I stare at her in disbelief. She can't possibly mean that. I've never liked blonds; I've only ever wanted her.

"Please don't hate me Edward. I only ever wanted you to have the perfect life you were meant to. Even if I had to take myself out of the equation." She looks up and finally lets me see her glistening eyes.

I take a deep breath and reach out for her hand. "Bella, I've only ever wanted you."

**Okay so there it is! Sorry there was no Bella POV, there will be next time promise What'd you think? To sappy? Eh…im a girl. Review and tell me please! **


	7. Chapter 6: Unwanted Conversations

**Okay guys I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in what? Forever? My friend called me and invited me to go to the her lake house with her for a few days, so I took a mini vacation! And on that mini vacation I had no time to write I know I got into the habit of everyday updates but what can I say? I was busy. I also want to get a few things out of the way:**

**It's come to my attention that some people think of this/my Bella is stupid. If you look at it from an actual mothers point of view yes, she is. But, when Bella made the decisions she did she was a scared teenager who had no Idea how to be a mother, and obviously she made mistakes like many teenage mothers do. **

**Edward's dreams were things like going to Dartmouth then Medical school**

**Edward does not have a girlfriend, I thought I made that clear by him always talking about how much he still loves, misses, only wants Bella but apparently I didn't make it clear enough, sorry. **

**Okay so I hope that helped, if it didn't I would love to hear comments, concerns, questions or anything else you have to say! So PLEASE REVIEW! I love it when you do with that, here's the sixth chapter…**

BPOV

"Bella, I've only ever wanted you." he says so gently, his voice full of love and devotion. It's completely heart breaking. What does he expect me to do? Just say 'Hey! Here's the kid I took from you, enjoy!'? I can't. Masen is the best kid in the world, no doubt about it. But, he's still a three year old. He needs consistency. He needs London, our friends there, Aunt Emily. _His Father… _I'm not stupid enough to say he doesn't need a father. But I'm not horrible enough to expect Edward to drop everything because of a mistake _I made. _

I don't know what to do. I love Edward, I can't lose him twice. I know I have to do what's best for Masen, but what's that? I always assumed Edward would never know. I never anticipated how I would handle this situation, because I never thought it would happen. I can't do this now. I've been up here with Edward too long. I can't think straight when I'm this close to him. I've left Masen alone with strangers! Well their strangers to him. _Oh god…. I'm a horrible mother. _

Wait. How long have I been sitting here thinking? Poor Edward, he's just staring at me. What was I thinking before? Oh right, I have to go. Masen probably needs me. Or maybe I just need him.

"I have to go." I tell him and move to stand but of course he catches my arm. I turn my head back to him.

"Bella, we have to talk about this. You can't keep running away." He tells me, almost sternly but more pleading.

"We can, we will. But not now, Masen doesn't know anyone here, I've already left him alone without me long enough." I sigh, "I mean, I'm sure he's fine. He's tough, well as tough as a three year old can be but he still can't be left alone with strangers for so long."

"Well when? When are you leaving?" he demands, green eyes blazing. I've never really seen him so demanding and forceful. It's my fault, but it's sort of…hot. Dammit, I can't do this now.

"We're due to leave in around four days. We were going to stay longer but when I found out Charlie was going to be fine, I cut it short."

"Four days? That's it?" he seethes. "Bella are you trying to kill me?" he looks angry and hurt all at once.

"Well I didn't know this was going to happen." I say quietly trying to explain, "Masen and I are home bodies; I like to sleep in my own bed, so does he. But if I was going to make the trip I should stay long enough to visit with Charlie and our friends on the reservation. Four days seemed good enough." I shrug slightly, cowering from his angry glare and biting my lip nervously.

"The reservation?" he hisses, his glare intensifying.

"Well,….u-uh, the Black's and the Clearwater's are like family to Charlie. And he wanted them to,… uh.. you know,.. meet Masen.."

"Oh," he chuckles darkly, not an ounce of humour present. "well I'm glad the people who are 'like family' get to meet my son before I do."

"We can have this conversation some other time. I have to go." I say as firmly and walk quickly out of the room.

* * *

I know I left Edward stunned behind me, but I couldn't be in there anymore, in the nightmare I created. I step outside and scan the yard for Masen. I see that the whole towns still here…great. I make my way to the table I had left Masen at and my heart sinks.

He's not there. Oh god…how long was I up there? Where is he?

I whip my head around, my heart beating frantically. I see Esme, and she waves me over. I get to her as quickly as my legs will take me.

"Have you seen Masen? He's not at the table where I left him." I ask her urgently.

"Oh no worries dear, he's in the washroom," She tells me gently and I feel myself relax, "he asked me if I knew where you were because he had to use the loo. I brought him, and then came out to find you."

"Oh thank you." I tell her gratefully, "I'll just go get him then."

Oh thank god I potty trained before he was two, no bathroom issues. I make it just in time to hear a flush. I knock on the door gently.

"Mase, it's Mum. I'm coming in okay?" I ask.

"Okay Mum." I open the door, and he's standing in front of the counter, trying his best to reach the sink, even though he can see over it.

"Here bud," I say as I lift him, turning on the sink and giving him to soap.

"Thanks." He says sweetly, as he soaps his hands and rinses. I set him down and he dries his hands on the towel hanging off the wall. I pick him back up and kiss his cheek, then nuzzle the top of his head with my cheek.

"I love you more than anything or anyone." I whisper, more to myself than to him, as I walk down the hall to the living room. Assuring myself that he is everything that matters to me, no matter what he was always there.

"I love you too Mum," he giggles, sweetly at my outburst of affection and I look down to see him blushing. My genes kicking in I see. I hum in sudden contentment then slowly come to a stop when I see Edward standing in front of us. Why does he always look so broken? Oh right, I'm an idiot I remember.

"Hi," I say breathlessly. Masen shifts in my arms to turn his head and then shines a bright smile.

"Hello Edward," he chirps happily. What I wouldn't give to be him right now, so out of the loop.

"Hi." He says, trying his best to keep the longing out of his voice, and failing.

"Of course," I lean down and drop Masen on his feet. "Why don't you go grab your bag for Mummy and then we'll go okay?" he nods and skips happily out to the party. I turn to Edward and he's looking out at Masen until he disappears down the porch steps.

"You're leaving." He states sadly.

"Yeah, I have so errands to run before we go see Charlie tonight. Plus this whole atmosphere is so completely awkward, I can feel it in the air." I tell him honestly, and then regret my words. It's my fault we're in this situation, and here I am complaining.

"What're you doing tomorrow?" he asks.

"I think Charlie will be coming home tomorrow and if he is then he'll want to go to the reservation and show off his grandson." I smile at the memory of talking to Charlie on the phone before I came here, and then frown as I remember what they must do to Edward.

"When can I see you?" he asks his voice unreadable.

"Uh, tomorrow night at around six? Charlie can watch Masen for me, I can meet you wherever." I tell him. I see he's about the respond when Masen comes bouncing into the room and jumps to stand beside me, holding my leg to catch his balance. I look down and smile at him, "Ready to go Sunshine?" I ask.

"Sure Mum." He answers sweetly. I turn to Edward and he gives me a curt nod.

"Okay Bud, let's go."

* * *

After visiting Charlie, I took Masen to the grocery store with me to get some fresh food for Charlie's house.

As I'm pushing the cart with Masen sitting in the seat I see a tall blond man walking towards me. I smile in recognition.

"Bella!" he greets me, a friendly smile on his face.

"Hey Mike, how are you?" I ask as I take him in. He's tall, not as tall as Edward but still taller than me. his blond hair is shaggy and his blue eyes are bright and lively.

"I'm great, were you at the Cullen's party?" he asks curiously.

"Yeah I was for a bit but I left early to do some running around and go see Charlie." I shrug in indifference.

"Oh right, I'm sorry about your Dad. He's okay though right?" he questions, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

"Oh yeah, he'll be out tomorrow." I smile in reassurance.

"That's great. So where have you been? You just disappeared."

"I've been in London actually." He raises his eyebrows in shock, and then nods his head.

"Right, right. Charlie was saying something about London English study thing?" I smile and nod. "And who's this little guy?" he asks smiling at Masen who's been eyeing him curiously the entire time.

"This is actually me son Masen." Again his brows rise in surprise.

"It's nice to meet you." Mike says, still smiling, to Masen who smiles in response. "Are you married?" he asks. I shake my head and say,

"No, it's just us." _And that's my entire fault. _I see him smile at that.

"How long are you in town?" he asks.

"Just a few days then we're heading back to London." He frowns at that.

"Well that's too bad, I would have liked to take you to dinner." I internally cringe at the idea of a date with Mike Newton, but keep my outer appearance friendly.

"Maybe next time." I smile and laugh, hoping I sound casual and not repulsed.

"It was great seeing you Bella." He says as he reaches to shake my hand.

"You too." I smile, and then release his hand. He gives Masen a wave before going back the way he came.

**Okay, EPOV next Chapter I swear hope you liked it! And like I always beg and plead…. REVIEW! your opinions mean the world to me! 3**


	8. Chapter 7:As long as we're together

**Hello again Well someone told me in the reviews that Masen's POV might be interesting and I thought I might give it a go and see what you think! Here's Chapter 7…**

Masen's POV

I like it in this town, Mum told me it's called Forks. Mum told me this is where she grew up and that we had to come here to visit Grandpa because he's sick. The aeroplane ride was really long, but I liked it.

Mum and I had to go to a party at a big house for a girl I don't know. But she did take me to the meadow she always talks about when she tells me stories of where we came from. The people at the party were all nice but everyone looked at me funny. I'm not sure why though, I don't know them.

When Mum and I were in the meadow we met a man called Edward, who is just a bigger me. We have the same hair and the same eyes and skin. He looked at me funny too, but he looked at Mum even weirder. Maybe the people in this town don't get to meet new people very often.

When me, Mum and Edward left the meadow she made me go sit at a table with a bunch of other kids. The table was big and there were lots of other kids there. I sat down beside a girl with long blond hair and blue eyes. She smiled at me as I hopped up on my chair.

"Hi, I'm Rachel." She said to me.

"Hello, I'm Masen." I smiled back. She giggled.

"You talk weird." I frowned at that.

"I'm from England." To tell the truth I don't like American accents much, sometimes they sound so harsh. Mum talks funny, sometimes she'll say things like me but sometimes she doesn't. I talk like Aunt Emily, who tells me we speak English the proper way. Whatever that means.

"It's a nice weird." She adds and my smile was back.

After a while I had to go to the loo but I didn't know where Mum was. Then I saw the nice lady that was there when we first got here. I walked over to her and she led me to the loo. When I got out Mum was there to help me wash my hands. Then we saw Edward again in the living room. I like Edward, I'm not sure why. He's quiet though. Mum and I leave the party and go do some other things around town.

After visiting Grandpa Charlie in the hospital again Mum took me to the store. While we were picking out cereal a man came up and started talking to my Mum. I didn't like him, I'm not sure why. I smiled at him, but only because Mum always tells me to be polite to everyone, even when you don't like them. He even asked Mum eat with him! But she said no.

Now we're in the car on the way back to Grandpa Charlie's house. Mum parks and comes back to help me out of the car, when we get inside Mum starts making pasta for supper.

When we're eating supper I ask Mum a question.

"Why does Edward look so much like me?" she stops chewing and looks at me, she looks scared. Then her face changes to nothing and she starts eating again.

"People look alike all the time Masen, it's just a coincidence." She tells me.

"A coincidence?" I ask, not knowing what the word means.

"Yes a coincidence. It's just random, not for any reason." She tells me. I don't believe her though.

"Me and you don't look like each other." I say.

"No we don't," she says slowly.

"But Jim looks like his Mum, they have the same hair and eyes." I tell her, thinking of my friend back in London.

"Sometimes kids look like their Mum's and sometimes they don't, it doesn't make you any less my baby then Jim is his Mum's baby." She tells me. What she says makes sounds like the truth but something is wrong. Before I can ask her anything else she stands up and starts clearing the table. "Why don't you go upstairs and change into your pajamas Mase? We'll get changed, watch a movie than go to bed okay?" I want to ask more but realize she's done talking and hold my tounge. I jump down from the table and make my way up the stairs.

I know my Mum loves me more than anything; it's the same with me. We're each other's worlds. She's the best Mum, she never gets angry and she gives me all that she can. Which is what a Mum is supposed to do, I think. But I think she's lying to me. I don't think it's random that Edward looks like me. I think there's a reason. But the reason seems to make Mum sad. I don't like it when she's sad, her pretty face doesn't look right when she's sad. And she's never sad, except when she thinks I'm hurt or sick or somebody else is hurt or sick, like Grandpa Charlie. But I do really want to know, and I guess she'll tell me when she's ready.

People always say I'm wise beyond my years, I don't really understand what that means. Mum tells me it means I'm smarter than other kids my age. I guess that's true, other three years old don't know their right foot from their left or know how to tie their shoes. I do. Mum taught me, so did Aunt Emily. I miss my Aunt Emily, she's very old. Mum says she owes Aunt Emily everything, because of all she's done for us. But I think Mum does a lot for Aunt Emily. Aunt Emily says me and Mum make her happier than she's ever been. We're a family. It's a different family than other kids have but we're happy.

After we've watched _Toy Story_ and I've brushed my teeth, Mum sits on the edge of the bed to tuck me in.

"This used to be my room, when I was little." She tells me. She reaches her hand over and brushes hair from my forehead.

"Why did you move away from here?" I ask her. She closes her eyes and sighs, then smiles but it isn't real.

"Because sometimes even Mummy's make mistakes." She says, and she confuses me.

"But we like London." I say, still confused.

"I love London," she smiles, a real smiles this time. "but, our life in London wasn't my mistake. It was making bad decisions which lead to running away. And even though I ran away to London, where we're happy, I think we could have been happy here too." She sighs and shakes her head.

"I think we'll be happy wherever we are, as long as we're together." I whisper, smiling up at her as I feel my eyelids getting heavier.

"I'm glad you think that Sunshine." I feel her weight lift off the bed, then her arms at my sides, tucking the blankets around me. Then I feel her kiss my forehead. "I love you," is the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.

BPOV

I walk out of the room, taking care not to wake Masen. I shut off the light and close the door and walk back downstairs. The day has been far too eventful. So much has happened within so little hours. Masen unknowingly met his father, I saw his father again for the first time in four years, I've seen far too many familiar faces. I've missed the Cullen's so much, they were family to me and I left them.

Masen's words from earlier come back to me and fill me with bittersweet happiness, _"I think we'll be happy wherever we are, as long as we're together." _It warms my heart to know he's happy even though it's just me and him, makes me feel that no matter what I'm still a good mother in his eyes. The love and trust he puts in me is scary, I'm a disappointment to my son and he doesn't even know it.

I'm so tired, I flop down onto the living room couch in my favourite sweats and oversized T-shirt. I turn on the TV and flip through the channels, not looking for anything just reading through titles. I settle on SNL. Halfway through the show the phone rings, I look at the clock and realize it's only 7:30. I sigh and reach over to the side table to answer.

"Swan Residence" I say politely into the phone.

"Bella?" a young, happy male voice asks into the phone. I know who it is the second I hear it and smile breaks out on my face.

"Jacob! How are you?" I chirp excitedly into the phone.

"I'm good Bells, you still comin' up tomorrow?" he asks happily.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I giggle, and hear him laugh in response. " What time should we be over there at?" I ask.

"Oh we'll be home all day, just come on over once you've got Charlie from the hospital." I hear the smile in his voice. As I'm about to answer a knock on the door startles me onto my feet. I run up to the front and peek through the side window to see Edward standing there. i open the door without hesitation then remember Jake's still on the phone.

"Just a sec'" I whisper to Edward and motion for him to come in. He steps through and shuts the door behind him. "I have to go." I say into the phone.

"What's goin' on there?" he asks sounding slightly worried.

"No need to worry, just someone at the door. I'll see you tomorrow." I say hoping he'll just let it alone.

"If you're sure, see ya Bells." He says

"Yep bye Jake." I end and hang up the phone. I look back at Edward and say, "Hi, you okay?" I ask as I stare at his emotionless face, though his eyes give him away, sadness is burned into the endless depths of green. He shakes his head.

"No," he stops to think. "I don't know why I'm here. I just started driving around and…" he motions with his hand searching for something, "ended up here." His arm falls to his side.

"Okay….well do you want to sit down?" I ask unsure. I don't mind that he came here unannounced or invited, he's upset, in shock, and Masen's asleep, so what harm can it do?

He just nods and follows me into the living room.

"So…." I trail off not knowing what he wants me to say.

"Where's Masen?" he asks gazing around the room.

"Asleep,"

"Oh right, I didn't realize how late it was. I'm sorry," he says honestly.

"It's no problem; it's not like it's even that late." I tell him, waving it off.

"I guess not, but I could have woken you or woken him," he looks so remorseful about something so insignificant. I know what he's doing though, he wants to take the blame for something, even though none of this is his fault.

"I doubt it, we both sleep like the dead." I smile trying to lighten the mood. But it doesn't work. He just lifts his eyes to mine sadly.

"I remember." He states and gives be a half smile that doesn't reach his eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut willing the tears back. And look back at him.

"Edward I'm sorry." I tell him looking down at my hands, knotting my fingers together. "I don't know what you want me to do and..," I sigh, "I-I really don't want to say the wrong thing." I shake my head, still never meeting his eyes. "I mean, I don't know what's best for Masen. I never prepared for this; I never thought it would happen. I know he knows I'm lying to him, he's too smart, he sees right through me. I never lie to him, not about important things anyway." I bring my hands up to cover my face and rest my elbows on my knees. "And I lied to him.

I look up at Edward and he's watching me intently, waiting for me to say more. "He asked me again, why he looks like you. I told him it was a coincidence and he goes on to tell me that him and I look nothing alike. And that his friend and his Mum look alike. I didn't know what to say to him. So I just said sometimes kids look like their parents and sometimes they don't, and that it didn't make him any less mine. Then I made him go get ready for bed." I shake my head again and exhale loudly.

"What have you been doing the last four years?" he asks suddenly.

"U-uh, nothing exciting, aside from Masen I guess. I work part time at a coffee shop that my friend Alec owns and I just finished up my bachelor's degree in English. What about you?" he takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"I've been living in Seattle. I got an early admission into the Medical school at UW and just finished my first year." Wait, what about Dartmouth? He got in, I remember when he got in.

"You didn't go to Dartmouth?" I whisper.

"No I didn't." he looks down and around before settling his eyes on me. "I didn't want to go too far in case you came back." And right there, my heart shattered.

**Okay guys, I know I said there would be an EPOV and I honestly thought there would be but I just wasn't feeling it for this chapter, maybe next time? Please, please, please review and tell me what you thought about Masen's POV! I love your opinions, like I said before your reviews mean the world to me **


	9. Chapter 8: A Normal Family Breakfast

**Sorry this is such a long time coming guys I wish I had an actual excuse but I don't, I was honestly stumped with ways to take this story. I just couldn't decide! **

**I would like to assure everyone that this is and will remain a Bella/Edward story. Nothing romantic will happen between her and Jacob, whether I decide he will be interested in her in that way or just as a friend will be determined as I write. BUT! For those of you who do like Jacob don't worry I do too (just not him and Bella together) so Jacob will NOT be heartbroken or anything like that. **

**And with that little nugget of information here is Chapter 8…**

BPOV

"No I didn't." he looks down and around before settling his eyes on me. "I didn't want to go too far in case you came back."

I try, I try so hard to will my tears back but they betray me. They spill from my eyes uncontrollably as I look at him, completely heart broken. I want nothing more than to kiss him, show him how much I love him and that I never stopped but…. I doubt he'd want me to.

"Edward, please…please don't say that." I sniffle, wiping my eyes. But it's no use as the old tears are immediately replaced by new ones. I avert my eyes, unable to look at him.

"Hey," he says softly, putting a finger under my chin and lifting my gaze to meet his. He gently wipes tears off my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Bella this situation is awful. I can't understand any of your reasoning, it's ridiculous." His voice is soft but exasperated as he slowly shakes his head, still cupping my face in his hand, holding me in place as he looks in my eyes. "I'm mad as hell at you, but I doubt yelling at you is the best way to handle the situation." His eyes are pained, but determined as he speaks.

My feeble attempts to do what I convinced myself was right have destroyed the very thing I was trying to protect…..Edward. I destroyed the man I love the day I left, the day I tore his child away from him and unknowingly unleashed a years of grief behind me. Yet, as destroyed as I've made him, he's still so much stronger than I am.

"So what do we do?" I ask my voice almost inaudible.

"I have no clue." He says with a small half smile.

"Well… we don't have to decide tonight." I say "because honestly I'm tired and this has been a much too eventful day don't you think?" _I do.. _

He nods before dropping his hand from my face and moving to walk away but I grab his arm before he can take a step.

"That doesn't mean I want you to go." I murmur softly.

EPOV 

I awake to something stirring in my arms, warm sunlight on my face. I open on eye and see it's Bella in my arms and for a brief second I think that maybe these past four years have just been a nightmare. But I know better. The top of her mahogany head of hair is rested beneath my chin, my arms encircling her small waist, holding her to me like two spoons. She's still asleep and I don't dare wake her. For the first time in a while I feel peaceful, like I always did with Bella.

I'm so unsure of what Bella wants. From what I've gathered I think she might want us to all be, a family. But I know she's not going to say it outright. She's always in fear of being rejected or coming on too strong. She hates putting pressure on people; it's one of the things I love and hate about her. Our lives might be completely different now if she had just not been so scared…

I'm able to understand why she did what she did, see her reasons but they are so completely and utterly wrong. We've known each other all our lives, she knows me better than anyone, yet she couldn't understand the depth to which I loved her.

Dartmouth was a stupid dream, that I only wanted because my brother, and our father, and his father and his father's father, etc., went to that school. And I never would have had any fun without Bella, just like college a UW.

I'm awakened from my thoughts with Bella stirring in my arms once more. She hums in her sleep before sighing my name. I smile slightly at knowing Bella's dreaming about me. Just as I'm admiring the beauty before me I hear small steps coming down the stairs.

"Mum!" a high voice calls. "Where are you?" he asks. _Masen_. I turn to see him walking into the living room. He's small, standing in pale blue, long sleeved pajamas with green dinosaurs plastered everywhere across the fabric. He's rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, his coppery hair in the same unruly state as mine. He opens his eyes again to look at me, confusion written clearly across it. "Edward? What are you doing here?" he asks his small voice groggy from sleep.

It's odd, knowing he's my son and hearing him call me Edward. Not that I wouldn't be freaked if he all of a sudden called me Dad, though I would like him too soon. "I was here last night talking to your mother and we must have fallen asleep." I say, hoping my answers good enough.

"Don't wake Mum up, just let her sleep. Usually she wakes up way before me.. I don't think she ever sleeps too long." He whispers to me before walking over to the kitchen. He's three… how on earth is he able to speak so rationally and so considerately as well?.. As I lay in shock, Bella still in my arms, I hear something being scooted across the tile in the kitchen. I carefully disentangle myself from Bella, careful not to wake her and walk toward the kitchen.

I walk in to see Masen standing on the countertop, a cupboard open to show bowls, plates and cups.

"What are you doing?!" I ask shocked. He turns, not at all alarmed by my startled tone.

"Well Mum is sleeping and I'm hungry. I'm going to wake her so I'll do it myself." His voice filled with nonchalance and his eyes looking at me like I'm the biggest idiot he's ever seen.

"You could fall." I state walking over to him and lifting him off the counter to place gently on his feet. "Why didn't you just say you were hungry?"

"I don't know you, why would I try to make you do things for me?" his face the epitome of the 'duh' expression. He's so independent, exactly like Bella.

"Because you're three." I say pulling a bowl down from the shelf and closing the door.

"That has nothing to do with my ability to get myself some cereal." The vocabulary on this three year old is unbelievable…

"Well your height does, you could have hurt yourself." I say walking over to the fridge for the milk. He huffs at my words and rolls his green eyes before walking over to one of the cabinets at floor level and pulling a box of fruit loops from inside. He hands me the box and proceeds to go sit at the table.

I wonder briefly if Bella would be okay with me feeding him, then decide it's better I do it than he try to do it by himself. I pour his cereal and milk and walk over to place the bowl and a spoon in front of him.

He looks up at me expectantly. "Aren't you going to eat anything?" he asks.

"No I'm good." I tell him, sitting in a chair across from him at the circular table.

"Mum say's breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He says, shovelling a spoon full of cereal into him mouth.

"She's right," I smile. He's still eating his cereal but his eyes are studying me. I can see the questions like they are written across his face.

"Are you going to come with me and Mum to get Grandpa?" he asks just as Bella comes walking to the kitchen opening before stopping with her chocolate eyes wide and taking in the scene before her. Our son and I sitting at breakfast like any normal family would. "Morning Mum," Masen smiles from over his spoon as he takes another bite.

Her shock waves off, probably as she remembers the night before. "Morning Sunshine, morning Edward." She greets with a lazy smile, running a hand through my hair as she walks by me into the kitchen and going towards the Masen to kiss the top of his hair gently. "How'd you sleep baby?" she asks him in a kind motherly voice.

"Good." He says in between bites.

"Don't eat too fast," she warns him, but it isn't stern or angry, it's concerned and teasing. She walks over to the fridge to pull an apple from a bag inside and takes a bite as she walks back over to us and takes a seat in the chair between Masen and I. "Aren't you hungry Edward?" she asks me, her face etched with confusion and a hint of concern.

"I didn't think it'd be okay if I just helped myself to your food," I say cautiously.

"Oh Edward you should know I wouldn't care." She says getting up from her seat and walking to the fridge, "What'll it be Cullen?" she asks sweetly, her smile infectious.

"I'll have what you're having," I smile at her as she hands me an apple and takes her seat once more.

"When are we going to see Grandpa?" Masen asks Bella as he takes one of the last bites of the remaining cereal in the bowl. I see Bella glance behind me before answering,

"Hmm we're supposed to be there around ten and it's almost nine now so not too long buddy," she looks from him to me, "I'm taking Charlie to the reservation once we've picked him up, we shouldn't be there too long, I might end up leaving them both there. Charlie was talking about talking Masen out on what was it Mase?" she asks him.

"I think he said quads." He says though he looks as unsure as Bella had.

"Yeah that's it. Jacob got a few old quads and fixed them up or something and Charlie wanted to take Masen out on them with Jake. Though I do think Charlie shouldn't be going out on those things right after he's gotten out of the hospital, not that he'll listen to me," she shakes her head "so while they're out being boys we could talk?" she asks looking hopeful.

I really don't think Bella realizes how much that hurts. Not the idea of Masen spending time with his Grandfather but that fact that he'll also be spending time with… _Black._ He had a thing for Bella all throughout high school, and made a point of showing me while we were dating. Bella never noticed though, she was and I have no doubt still is, completely oblivious to her beauty. And as much as I'd like to beg her not to let Masen see him, I can't help but think it isn't me place.. just yet.

"Sure, you can call me on our house phone that's where I'll be." I say as I stand thinking it's best I leave now and let them get ready.

"Great, but before you leave would you mind keeping him company while I hop in the shower?" she asks, looking hopeful again.

"Course." I say, trying not to let my thoughts drift to her in the shower.

"Great!" she gives me a bright, beautiful, grateful smile. "I'll only be ten minutes. Mase, I'll put your clothes out on your bed before I get in so get changed okay?" she asks him, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"Sure Mum," he says, pushing his bowl away from him and smiling up at her.

"Good boy, I love you." She tells him as she stands from her seat and walks toward the kitchen opening. "Be good for Edward," she gives me one last, beautiful smile before she leaves us and I hear her feet on the stairs.

**Again sorry it took so long Please tell me what you'd like to see happen in the reviews! I love hearing your ideas! Especially since I'm running out of my own.. **

**Love you guys! REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 9: Old friends, Past Decisions

**I'd like to start this off with a thank you. I've gotten to a hundred followers which surpasses my wildest hopes. Honestly I was ecstatic when I reached twelve, one hundred is indescribable. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it means so much **

**So here it is…**

**Chapter 9**

BPOV

I rush up the stairs, not wanting to burden Edward, although he did seem more than willing to watch Masen for a little longer. I briefly wondered how long they had been awake but dismissed it as I walked into my room….well Masen's room. I was fine with the couch, although I had only slept on it once and I wasn't alone. Edward was with me… and even though we were on a couch older than both of us, it was the best sleep I'd had in a long time.

I quickly pull out a little pair of khaki coloured cargo shorts and a dark blur polo t-shirt along with socks and underwear and leave them on top of the bed for Masen, then go over to my bag on the floor and become stumped.. I remember high school and wanting Edward to like me as more than the friend I thought he might always see me as, so Alice took it upon herself to dress me in the clothes that met the Alice approval. Luckily her style stayed with me a little and my clothes aren't anything like my previous tastes which I remember Alice calling "Shapeless and boring" but I called them comfy and warm. I look through my bag and settle on a dress. It's a cleanly cut sandy brown dress that comes down right above my knee, it has small pockets below the waist line outlined in a deep blue matching the collar of the dress and the bow that rests at the top of my chest.

I take my clothes and rush to the bathroom and quickly shower, when I get out a towel dry my hair until it's only slightly damp and slowly beginning to wave down my back. I slip into the dress and leave the bathroom only to stop back in Masens rooms and see the clothes are gone and grab a pair of small dark brown flats.

I skip down the steps and find Masen dressed and watching cartoons, Edward beside him. Masen gives me a half-hearted hello as he watches the screen intently. I meet Edwards's eyes and watch as they slowly descend down my body and back up again. I feel myself flush under his gaze, but happy that he seems to like what he sees. I give him a small smile before walking over to them and crouching down in front of Masen and taking the remote from his lap, when I shut off his show, his face falls.

"Sorry Sunshine we gotta get moving." I say with an apologetic smile, "ready to go?"

"Yep!" he says, happy once more, as he jumps into my opened arms. I hug him back and laugh at his adorable affection.

"Okay come on then, we'll say goodbye to Edward at the car." His face falls again, his full bottom lip pouting out.

"Can't he come with us?" my eyes widen at this forwardness and I glance briefly at Edward unable to read his expression.

"No bud, he's has plans today." I say and then quickly add, "And i'm not even going to be there very long anyway, I'm just dropping you guys off and saying a quick hello. You're going to spend the day with Grandpa and his friends remember?" he nods, but looks slightly crushed. Odd. Masen usually is a little like me in social situations, he's shy and quiet and doesn't usually get too attached too quickly.

"I'll see you again later buddy." Edward chimes in from his spot on the couch, smiling and ruffling Masen's thick bronze locks.

"Promise?" he asks cautiously his eyes slightly less sad and much more hopeful.

"I promise." He answers with a breath taking smile. To my utter surprise I watch as Masen leaps from his spot in front of me to Edward sitting beside him, wrapping his arms around Edward's neck. Edward looks shocked as well but his face immediately washes over with affection as he hugs Masen back. My heart clenches at the sight of them but I keep a smile on my face.

"Masen come on sweets, we gotta go." I say, holding out my hand as he reluctantly lets go of Edward and puts his small hand in mine.

Once Masen is in his buckled in his seat I close his door and turn to Edward. He's looking through the window at Masen, who's hands are busy with a small book with big letters, depicting the epic tale of Thomas the train.

"You can't go back to London." He says, his eyes filled with longing, pleading with me.

"We'll talk about it later." I whisper out shakily, willing back my tears.

"Bella-" he starts but I cut him off.

"I promise, we'll talk, but right now I have to go pick up my Dad and I'd rather not be crying when I do." I say, feeling a traitor tear fall down my cheek and wipe it away with the back of my hand.

"okay." He answers, his voice low and guilty. And I realize what I just did. I rush over to him feeling guilty for well, making him feel guilty and wrap my arms around his neck. I shamelessly inhale his delicious scent because I just can't help myself and nuzzle my face in the crook of his neck. I feel him rubbing slow circles on my back, the electricity that always surrounds us humming in the air.

Eventually I step out of him embrace and give him a shy smile, "I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he replies as we both enter our separate vehicles and driving off in our opposite directions.

On the ride over to the hospital Masen was non-stop badgering me with questions of Edward, some of which I answered and others I avoided. Luckily he became completely side tracked from his questions by the time we were pulled up to the fronts doors of the hospital and Charlie climbed in. All questions were and attention was on Charlie and none was on me, thank god.

Now we were pulled up outside the Black's house. The first thing I saw at the front door was Jacobs tall figure pushing his Dad in his wheel chair down the ramp to greet us.

I clamber out of the car and go o the back to grab Masen while Charlie, Billy and Jacob laugh and joke with each other.

I grab Masen's bag and hand it to Charlie then turn to Billy and Jacob and give them both a hello before Jacob pulls me into his arms and greets me with a giant bear hug. I'm shocked for a second but hug him back, realizing just how much I missed my friend.

"I missed you Bells," he says in my ear before he finally releases me.

"I missed you too," I grin at him before stepping back and putting a hand on Masen's small shoulder. "Billy, Jacob, this is my son Masen." I smile at them both as Masen gives them a small, shy hello.

I watch the recognition in Jacob's eyes, taking in my miniature Edward. I can tell he's shocked. He knew I had a son but he, like all other people, didn't know who his father was. Probably assumed it was someone I met in London.

Luckily Charlie swoops in just as Masen finishes his greeting.

"So Mase you wanna go see the quads we're gonna be ridin'?" he asks cheerfully.

"Sure Grandpa," he smiles, still shy, and looks at me. I nod at him to go along and watch as they walk off, Charlie pushing Billy in front of him.

"I didn't know your kid was Cullen's." he says, his face straight and unreadable.

"Neither did he." I say, looking down at the ground.

"You didn't tell him?"

"No, I didn't tell anyone."

"Why?" his voice sounds confused and agitated.

"I didn't want to burden him with a child he didn't plan for." I sigh and look up at him, then around their property. The grass is green and the trees are tall and lush. It's the same it always was, quiet and beautiful.

"So you just left?" my eyes snap back to him at the aggression in his voice.

"I thought it was best for everyone involved, I know now it wasn't but what's done is done." I say, annoyed at his tone. "Why are you so angry? This doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Bella we were friends hell I lo-," he pauses, "and you just up and left, no goodbye and now I find out it's because Cullen knocked you up and you didn't want to bother him." his voice is incredulous and his eyes are searing.

"You know what? I'm sorry!" I yell, seething with fury, but my stomach knotting with regret. "I'm sorry I left, I know now I was wrong but I didn't know what to do! I had no clue how I was going to raise a baby, let alone tell Edward! I was scared!" I'm crying now, more at the mess I'd gotten myself into than his the harshness of his words. "I have to go. Tell Charlie to call me when I have to come get them." I say turning towards my car. "And don't say anything about this to Charlie or my son. This really is none of your business Jacob." I say before climbing in my car and driving away without another word from him.

The drive to the Cullen house gives me time to think about everything. From talking with Edward last night, to what I should expect today.

To be honest I don't want to leave Edward. If he wants to do the father son thing than I should do everything I can to help. But what would that mean? Moving back? Leaving London? The thought makes me sick, I can't imagine leaving our home. The home we made, the city we love. But Edwards in school, he has to stay here, and it is possible for me to come back to school here but is that what I want? Is that what I want for Masen? Is that what he wants? Is that what's best for him? I can't be sure. But whatever I do, I'll do what's best for Masen. Always Masen, he's what's important.

As I pull up to the Cullen's house I take a deep breath. When I go in there, I don't think my life will be the same when I leave. And maybe that's for the best.

**Remember guys, Reviews are love **


	11. Chapter 10: Jealousy Is a Good Thing

**Alright guys I've recently decided that 'Choices' is becoming very trying to continue on as ideas for where to take my story aren't coming to me as frequently. Recently I have gotten a new idea for a new/different story, completely separate from 'Choices'. This new idea is not yet in full swing but will be soon (I hope). This is not to say 'Choices' is over or that an update will not come fairly soon but this is merely an explanation as to why updates will not come as regularly and frequently. **

**To answer any questions about this or give me some help as to where you might want this story to go please Review or PM me! It never hurts to want your views heard! So please review! **

**And with that here's the next chapter….**

EPOV

"So Edward, where did you go off to last night?" My sister Alice asks from her place beside me on our parent's large sectional couch in the TV room.

I'm not quite sure how to answer, a part of me thinks she already knows where I was, but I don't feel like divulging that information just yet. Everything is being thrown at me all at once and I'm not comfortable talking about this situation until Bella and I know what we're doing.

"I don't want to talk about it Alice." I say curtly, praying she'll drop it.

"Well I just wanted to know how my nephew was," she huffs and crosses her arms across her chest like a child. _What?! Bella told her? No she said she didn't tell anyone.. un less she lied?_ "Ugh," she scoffs and slaps my shoulder, "Relax you idiot, she didn't tell me." I feel my anger subside immediately. "But she was at my party Edward and I did see him. It was almost like going back in time to when we were little." For a moment her face is in awe then she's back and looking at me pointedly. "She told me she's still in London Edward; you can't let them go back."

For such a small person, Alice can strike fear into the heart of the most viscous person with just a wicked glare of her golden hazel eyes.

"I don't know if that's my decision Alice," I tell her, feeling completely and utterly exhausted at the mere thought of them going back, watching her leave me, again.

"Of course it is! He's your son! You know I love Bella and I know she probably had some absurd reasons for doing what she did but you can't just let her take him away from you! From us!" The anger is clear on her face but behind it, the hurt is there too.

"I'll try Ali, I'll really try okay?" I say hesitantly, hating the broken hearted look on my sister's face.

"Okay Edward." and at that she ends the conversation with a caring rub on the shoulder she had slapped before standing from the couch. "Rosalie is picking me up, we're going to a movie." She leans down and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Love you," she says as an afterthought and she absentmindedly waves over her shoulder and walks out of the room.

"Love you too!" I call after her from my place on the couch. I hear a car pull up on the drive and look out the window to my right to see Rosalie's bright red Mercedes convertible pulled up in front of the house. I watch as Alice jumps into the car with her cat like reflexes, not bothering with the door.

The house is empty now, except for me and the fat gray cat my mother got after all her children grew and moved out. I remember my mother trying to explain to me all about the animal, its breed, its name, where she got it, blah, blah, blah.

All I can do now is sit and wait for a conversation that I'm sure will change my life forever.

BPOV

I walk up the steps and ring the doorbell on the side of the door. I can hear feet shuffling about on inside before a lock slides out of place and the door is pulled open. Standing before me is Edward in all his glory. His bronzed sex hair in more disarray that usual, his large emerald eyes wide and sparling in the afternoon sunlight, his large, toned arms gently open the door more, allowing me to step inside.

"Bella," he breathes my name softly, only a quiet whisper of his velvet voice.

"Hey Edward," I say and instantly want to smack my forehead for sounding so casual in such a horribly awkward situation. Luckily or maybe not so luckily he doesn't seem to have heard me, as he leads me through the house to the TV room.

It had been slightly renovated since the last time I'd been here four years ago. The walls are still the same pale jade green, the carpet still an unmarked perfect white. The old big screen now replaced with a large, expensive flat screen, the previous white couch now replaced with a large white sectional. The same family pictures were scattered about the room and perhaps a few new ones.

As I sit on the couch, I remember the last time I was here. When everything was simple.

"_Edward!" I shrieked through my giggles as he carried my over his shoulder, his hands grigging me just under my behind and gripping me to him. I playfully pounded my fists against his back, "Edward!" _

"_I don't know if I want to do that Miss Swan." He said in a stern voice, though I could hear the humour behind it. _

"_Please!" I shrieked, _

"_Will you apologize?" he asked, his voice still stern and humorous. _

"_Never!" _

"_Hmmm," he hummed in thought, "Well we'll just see about that!" he exclaimed as he through me down onto the couch and began to tickle my sides. _

"_Edward!" I choked out through my laughing fit. "Please!" _

"_You know what you have to say to make me stop." He murmured. _

"_I'm sorry! I love you!" _

"_That's right Swan." He said as he pulled his hands away from me. _

"_What were we even fighting about?" I asked as I pulled myself into a sitting up position. _

"_I can't even remember." He laughed. I pulled myself up until I straddled his lap. He raised a brow at me and I gave him my best sexy smile before leaning down and pressing my lips to his. He responded right away, licking my bottom lip, I opened greedily and let him in, savouring the amazing taste that was all Edward. _

_I gently rolled my hips into his and was rewarded with a deep groan from Edward and a slight poke. I pulled back and raised a brow at him, like he did me. He simply waggled both of his before pushing me down onto the couch and grinding his hips into my own. _

_Soon clothes were shed, more moans were made and we were both taken where we both craved so desperately, being the sex crazed teenagers that we were. _

I shake my head of the inappropriate memory; though I'm fairly certain that was the day our son was conceived. Condoms aren't one hundred percent affective, and the time seems to make sense.

Edward seems to have asked me a question while my mind was other occupied.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I ask, embarrassed at my lack of attention and hoping I hadn't been zoned out for too long.

"I asked what you think is best, for our..erm, situation." He said looking slightly embarrassed himself, though I'm not sure why.

"Well as much as I love London I think it's best for Masen if we move here." Hearing myself say the words for the first time makes them utterly real. As sad as they make me, they feel right.

"Really?" he asks. He looks a mixture of happy, surprised and questioning.

"Yeah, it makes the most sense. I don't like the idea of flying him out here all the time, the flight is way too long and he's only three. Plus his entire family is here, aside from Aunt Emily but we can always go visit her." I inhale and exhale deeply before continuing, "If you're willing to be in his life I should help as much as possible." I finish, feeling confident in my answer.

"So how long do you think that will take, moving I mean?" he asks tentatively.

"Well I'm not sure exactly. I only just decided-well I just decided now actually. I don't want to live in Forks so we could move to Seattle. I'd have to go back to London to pack and say good bye and quit my job. I have to find an apartment in Seattle and a daycare for Masen. Oh! And I have to decide whether I'll just go to London on my own and leave Masen here with Charlie, since he's off work, or bring him with me." I loose myself in thought. What should I do? I could enroll at UW I guess or maybe I'll just try and find a job right away. Maybe-

"He could stay with me." Edward says cutting me off. I'm shocked, it's not that I don't trust him it's just that was unexpected. Very unexpected.

"Really?" I ask, unable to hide my surprise.

"Yeah, might as well. If you live here he'll be seeing a lot of me right? Might as well get him used to it."

"Yeah that makes sense." I think aloud. Masen seems to like him, Edward lives with Alice, she's god with kids. This is good, it's progress. And it won't be for long only a few days. Our apartments small and I can always get new things if I can't take everything.

Just then my cell phone rings. Who's calling me? I hold a finger up to Edward and reach into my bag to answer it.

"Hello?" I ask, I forgot the check the caller I.D.

"Hey there darlin'" a southern voice drawled.

"Hey Jazz! You better have long distance calling or you'll have a big surprise on your bill." I tell him in mock scolding.

"Just thought I'd check in on my fellow American. How's the good land treatin' ya?" he asked happily.

Jasper was a friend of mine from London, though he wasn't really from London, he's moved there like me, relocating for his job.

"I'm good. How are you?" I ask, happily as Edward's eyes regard me with suspicion.

"Oh you know me darlin', I always get by. I actually didn't just call to see how you were, I wanted to tell you I'm flying out to Seattle for a bit and wanted to know if I could swing down and see some friendly faces?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"We would love to see you, though I'm not sure it's worth a trip to Forks." I shiver for effect, though he can't see it.

"I never been to Washington, now I get to see a bit o' city and a bit o' small town." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Whatever helps make it seem worth your while. I have to go Jazz but just call or text or email or whatever to tell me when 'kay?" I ask smiling.

"Sounds good sweets, tell my little man I miss him, see y'all later."

"I will, bye." I say, shaking my head, a wide grin on my face. "That was my friend Jasper, he's coming down to Seattle. He's amazing, Masen loves him, well everyone does. He's one hundred percent southern charm." I say as I turn my attention back to Edward.

"You two seem cozy." He scolds, his tone sharp and clipped with jealousy.

"He's like a brother to me. He's family not anything 'cozy'," I tease him, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous." I say smiling and biting my lip.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He says curtly, crossing his arms and turning away his face sharply like a child. He's pouting. He's too cute.

"I think you do," I say still teasing. He turns his head towards me, scowl in place.

"You're right, I was jealous." He says. Before I have time to think he cupped my face roughly, not rough enough to hurt, but urgent and demanding. And them his lips are on mine, it's not sweet or loving. It's primal and needing and I respond the way my body always did to him. My fingers twist into his hair pulling him closer, never wanting to let go.

**Review!**


	12. Author's Note :

Alright guys I'm so sorry for lack of updates.

I know you probably want to punch me for using this as an authors note and not an update of the story but…. I have no ideas. None. Squat. No I wish I had squat but I have nothing! I don't know what to do!

I know I set up an Edward/Bella thing but I don't know where to take it… what to do and I'm sorry!

I'm not a writer I'm a student and a learner and I don't know what to do with this story and I would hate to disappoint you well disappoint you more than you are now.

This story isn't done, I always finish what I start but I need some help. So I thought I'd ask you. The readers. This story is more for you than it is for me and it only makes sense that I should ask you in order to know what I should write.

So in order for this story to go anywhere anytime soon I need you!

I want your thoughts,

Your ideas,

Your wants,

Your what ifs,

Your hopes, anything that comes to mind when you think about this story.

I know it's a lot to ask but I'm stuck.

I'm so sorry guys please don't hate me 3

Please help!


	13. Chapter 11: Broken Arms, Broken Dreams

**I'm Sorry! Really super sorry! With school and no inspiration writing has felt like more of a chore than what it always was, fun. I do LOVE writing for you guys and your suggestions were awesome but sometimes the words just won't come! **

**This is a little taste of something though it's not much, but I figured I had to give you **_**something**_** I had that I was happy with and this is the closest I've gotten in a while. **

**I'm sorry for the wait and this most likely doesn't make up for it but this is all I got and I'm really sorry. **

**Thanks for reading, more soon. (I hope) **

_EPOV_

_*Flashback*_

"_Oh Eeeedward! Come back Eddie we wanna play house and we need a daddy!" Laurens annoying voice screeched from behind me. I looked back to see her and Jessica running towards me full pace, I turned around the corner of a wall, hiding hoping they wouldn't find me as I tried to catch my breath. _

"_Are you okay?" I heard a musical voice say from behind me. I turned my head to see a dark haired angel, her beautiful pale face etched with concern and her long dark hair in big curls almost to her waist. _

"_Me?" I asked pointing to my chest. _

"_Of course you silly, we're the only ones here." She said gesturing around her. "Well are you okay?" she asked again. _

"_Yeah I'm fine, who are you?" I asked, it was only now that I realized I'd never seen this girl before and here she was outside at recess. _

"_My names Bella, I'm new, my dad's the new chief of police here." She said proudly, a beautiful smile spread across her face. _

"_I'm Edward," I said holding out my hand like grownups do. "How old are you?" I asked, maybe she's in my grade. _

"_I just turned eight last week." I smiled, she is. _

"_What are you hiding from?" she asked curiously. _

"_Girls." I said with disgust. I look down at Bella to see hurt on her face, it's only then that I realize I don't hate Bella like I hate other girls. "Well Jessica and Lauren specifically, they want me to play with them but I don't like them, they're really annoying." _

"_They probably like you." She said. I take in this information and shake my head with that same disgusted look on my face. She giggled at that and I felt warm inside at her laugh. _

"_Well I don't like them." I said and noticed her smiled brightened a little when I said that. _

"_I'm sure the coast's clear," she said, peeking her head around the corner, "you can go back and play now." She said a little sadly. _

"_Why were you sitting here all by yourself?" I asked her. _

"_I don't know anyone, I don't have any friends." She looked down at her feet, embarrassed, her cheeks glowing a pink blush. _

"_Well come on then, recess isn't over yet." I held my hand out to her again and her eyes snapped up to mine, they were big circles of milk chocolate, they were pretty, like everything else about her. She smiled shyly at me and took my hand. I lead her away from her hiding place and into the sun, where her hair glowed with shades of browns and reds, mixing together in harmony as we reached the swings and offered one to her. _

_*end flashback*_

I didn't know what we were doing, I mean I knew but I didn't really. What happened after? What would happen when the lust of this moment died out and we were back in the same situation again? Though it's wrong to say my lust for him could actually die, I'll always want him.

It was just getting to the point of no return, his shirt was off, his beautiful marble chest exposed and chiselled to perfection, the zipper on my dress was just beginning to be pulled down with his long pianist fingers when my phone rang for a second time.

We both stop moving abruptly, the moment completely ruined. I reach into my purse again and pull out my phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Bells you gotta get down here, Mase he was climbin' one them big rocks you kids used to play on and he fell, we're takin' him to the hospital, we think he broke his arm." He says rushed, he sounds sad, apologetic, and scared as hell.

"Can I talk to him?" I ask, on the verge of tears. My baby.

"Mummy?" his little voice is slightly broken but he's trying to be brave.

"Hi Baby, are you okay sweet pea? Mummy's coming to see you at the hospital it's all going to be okay." I soothe him over the phone hoping to wipe away all fears though I feel useless over the phone.

"I'm alright Mummy," he says, voice shaky and hiccupped though not completely crying.

"You're so brave, I love you, I'll be right there okay?"

"O-okay, love you too." I hear him hand the phone back to Charlie and hear him huff.

"I'm sorry Bells, I was watchin' him I swear but he fell so quickly, I should have known those rocks were too damn slippery." He's slightly angry now, oh Charlie it's not your fault.

"It's okay Dad I'm on my way, I don't blame you, He's a kid, it happens." Though on the inside I'm curing a thousand different gods and satin's for making this happen to my baby. We say a quick bye and I hang up reaching back to sip my dress **(image of dress on my profile)** and turn to Edward who's looks confused, worried and anxious all at the same time.

"Masen's hurt I have to go. I'll call you." I tell him before grabbing my shoes not bothering to put them on and running down the drive to my car, speeding away without a glance back.

**As always please review, it means a lot and your ideas are always welcome and appreciated! So please don't be shy! **

**Also the dress Bella wore in Chapters 9, 10 and 11 is really cute and the picture is on my profile if you want to see it so go check it out! Alice's dress is on there too from a few chapters ago. **

**Love you guys!**


	14. Chapter 12: Past's Considered

**Hey Guys! So here's another chapter for you! Hope you like a little of Edward and Bella's past, their present is a little deep at the moment so here's some much needed and adored fluff. **

"_Masen!" I yell running into the hospital room where my baby is laying in a small hospital bed, all in white. "Masen baby wake up Mummy's here now, it's okay wake up." I place my head on his small shoulder and feel it deathly cold. "Masen?" his lids stay shut, hiding his beautiful green eyes. My stomach twists my hearts thuds against my chest so hard I can hear it and my breath comes in and out shaky and unsteady. "Masen please, wake up." I put both my hands on his shoulders and shake him once, then again and again, each time his body feels heavier, colder. "Masen!" _

"_He's gone Bella." I hear Edward say from behind me. I turn and see him standing directly behind me, calm and still. "He's gone, dead, before I ever got a chance to know him all because of you. It's your fault he died without a father Bella, it's your fault he died before he got to be my son." _

_His voice is menacing, accusatory, angry. My heart speeds rapidly, my whole body gone numb. I turn back to Masen to see him eerily still. "Masen?" I say, with no response. "Masen?" I say again, louder to gain yet again no response. No he's wrong no, no, no. "Masen?!" _

I jolt up from sleep, beads of sweat running down body, tears streaming down my face. I jump of the couch and run up the stairs to my old bedroom, I whip open the door to see Masen laying there, the slow rise and fall of his chest and the soft murmurs he makes as he sleeps all the confirmation I need to tell me everything's okay.

I fall on my knees to the ground, clutching my heart as I watch my baby sleep, alive and well. He's okay. My heart slows, as I take quiet breaths. He stirs and I still.

"Mummy?" he asks groggily.

"Yes Sunshine?" I ask, my voice sounds a little out of breath still but its completely calm.

"What happened to my arm?" he asks, lifting his right arm into the air, it's covered in a neon green cast.

"You fell and broke it, remember?" I ask him, though I figure he's too sleepy to remember.

"Not really, am I going to be okay or will it stay broken forever?" he asks, sounding not so concerned but merely curious.

"No it'll heal sweet pea, you just gotta be careful for a little while. Go back to sleep." I stand up and walk over to the bed, it looks so big when it's only holding such a tiny body.

"Can you sing to me Mummy?" he asks. Nodding I lay down on his good side and gently cuddle him into my right. He nuzzles his face into my neck as I softly sing him his lullaby.

EPOV

It's already been an entire day since Bella abruptly left. She has called me once since, telling me Masen had fallen on the reservation and broken his right arm.

I lay in bed all night, barely getting any sleep and wondering if he's okay and what's going on inside her mind right now. I wonder if I'm in her head nearly as much as she's in mine, though I suppose when you have a hurt three year old on your hands your focus will generally go to them first and your broken hearted ex second.

I let my mind drift you the times when we were younger and our lives were so much simpler.

"_Edward come on, we gotta go!" Bella told me, pulling me up by the hand from my spot and the grass and dragging me towards the forest. I walked with her as fast as my nine year old legs would let me. _

"_What Bella? What is it that's so great about the forest." I asked curiously. _

"_It's not about the forest you idiot, it's what's _inside_ the forest." She led me down a narrow path, through the tall deep green trees and fallen branches. _

_We stopped when we reached the edge of a small meadow; its grass stood tall and green, wild flowers of all different colours popping up every so often. The sun seemed to be shining down on the meadow alone, leaving the rest of the world cascaded in darkness, this place being the only light left. _

"_Isn't it beautiful Edward?" Bella asked, running from her place beside me and into the brilliant sun. The red in her hair shined in the run, giving her an angelic glow and she smiled at me, a big beautiful happy smile and waved me over. "Come on Edward!" _

_I smiled happily and ran over to join her._

"_This can be our place, our secret place." She told me, "We can come here and it can be our little place no one else gets to know about, no one else gets to have. It can be our own kingdom." She smiled at me. _

"_Does that make you Queen?" I ask her. _

"_Only if you'll be my King." _

_I walked into the meadow in search of Bella and found her laying on her front, legs bent in the air and crossed at the ankles, with a text book opened in front of her as she twirled a piece of dark hair between her fingers. I took a moment, where I could go unnoticed, to look at her beautiful face the way I always wanted to but in a way a best friend never should. _

"_Hey Bells, whatcha up to?" I asked, she looked up at me, her fifteen year old eyes still the same as her eight year old ones. _

"_Studying." She said curtly, looking back down as if the textbook were the most interesting thing in the world. _

"_Studying what?" I asked, trying to get her to look up again and failing. I walked over to her and sat cross legged by her side on the picnic blanket she always brought here. _

"_Biology." She said not looking at me. Something was wrong, she never ignored me. _

"_Bella what's wrong?" I asked her. _

"_Oh nothing, everything's great." She said, sarcasm etched into her voice. _

"_Bella come on, just tell me. What did I do? You have to tell me so I can at least apologize." I pleaded with her. _

_She sighed, a sad, defeated sigh and looked up at me with wide doe eyes, glistening in the sun. She broke my heart. _

"_Bella what's wrong?" I asked, cupping her cheek with my hand and brushing away a fallen tear. _

"_It's nothing you did. I shouldn't even be upset, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm being stupid." She said pushing away my hand and standing up. _

"_Then what is it? You know you can tell me anything Bells." She didn't answer, just shook her head and looked away, out into the forest though at nothing in particular. _

"_It's not my place to be jealous." She said, her voice small and broken. _

"_Jealous of what Bells?" I asked confused. _

"_Of Tanya." She stated simply, though brokenly. _

"_Why would you be jealous of Tanya?" _

"_Because she's beautiful and blond and rich and you like her." she looked at me with sad understanding eyes, as though she had uncovered some kind of undesired secret. _

"_I don't like Tanya." I said, I didn't at all, why would she think I did?_

"_But you kissed her." she said with questioning eyes. _

"_Ahh, she kissed me Bells. How'd you know about that?" I asked. _

"_I saw you, when I was waiting for you outside the car park." _

"_I swear I didn't want to Bells, I would never want someone so fake, shallow and so insanely forward. And f.y.i, she's not as pretty up close, believe me." At that she laughed, a real Bella laugh, beautiful and perfect. "I don't like Tanya, I-I like someone else." She stiffened at that. _

"_Oh yeah? Who?" she asked, pretending nonchalance though the hope of that was gone. _

"_I think you know her. We've been friends for years." I said taking a step toward her. Now was my chance. "She's got these big brown eyes, and this long dark hair, it's real soft." I took another step so I was right in front of her, her eye level meeting my nose. "She's got the softest, palest, most beautiful skin." I put my hand against her face, gently stroking her cheek. Large wary brown eyes met my terrified green ones. "But you see Bells, I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to that." _

"_I think you've done a pretty good job." She said before going up on her tip toes and pressing her soft lips to mine. _

**So what'd you think? Review and tell me! **


	15. Chapter 13: Plans Made a Mess

**This is very, very, very overdue and I am so, so sorry. I hope you all understand that life is life and it gets in the way, and though I consider myself to be a very boring person, I still have a life and it tends to get in the way of me doing things I like…like writing stories for you fine readers. **

**Please don't be too upset, **

**I hope you like it.**

**Please review!**

BPOV

When I wake for the second time that night it's to the sound of my cellphone buzzing in my purse. I reach down in a still half asleep daze and grab my phone from its confines.

"Bella dear, I'm sorry to call you at – oh dear, it must be four in the morning over there! – I really don't mean to wake you but I didn't know what to do, I've only just heard the message on the machine and I just had to call you, blasted time difference." I listen to the soft voice of my elderly aunt raddle on until I hear her quiet down.

"Aunt Em?" I ask in a groggy voice. "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh no love, everything's quite alright, wonderful really, very exciting, which is why I didn't think I should wait to call you."

I sit up from my lay down position and flick on the lamp that sits on the side table beside the living room couch I've been sleeping on. I rub my eyes and yawn, preparing myself for whatever it is that I'm sure is about to make everything in my life even more complicated. Hopefully this won't be my fault too.

"Alright, I'm up, you have my full attention." I tell her, anxious to hear what she has to say.

"Well, do you remember when we took Masen to that Doctor; gosh what was it, nine, ten months ago?" I rack my tired brain and suddenly the light clicks and all the air escapes from my lungs, my heart stopping in my chest. No, it can't be. "Well they called yesterday while I was out at the shops, and I only just checked the messages a few moments ago, and well, they say they have good news, that boy really is a genius Bella."

I let out a shaky breath. Holy shit, this can't be real.

"They left a number you can call them at, to talk more thoroughly about it, but they say they have a spot open at their institute, and with his results, all expenses would be covered."

I stay on the phone with her for a while longer, I promise to call her back once I have all the facts and hang up the phone. I stare at the phone number I have scribbled down on a piece of torn paper, this number that controls so many things, so many destinies and opportunities that people barely ever get to experience in an entire lifetime. This phone number that has the potential to change every new plan I've made with Edward since I came here.

* * *

Ever since Masen was a tiny infant I thought there was something about him that separated him from all other babies, part of me thought it was because he was Edwards, part of me thought it was just something every mother thought of her baby, that they were smarter, faster, better.

It was little things at first; he was an early walker, an early talker, early reader. He was able to comprehend things quickly, he always asked questions, always wanted to know more, understand exactly, he paid attention to detail in everything he did and showed a large interest in learning.

I was a little embarrassed at first, not of him for being what I assumed was just him being amazing, but for being having the typical mom thought. That my child was somehow better at everything than anyone else's. My need to convince myself he wasn't special almost blinded me from actually finding out if he was.

So about ten months ago I started doing a little research on child prodigies, child geniuses, determining child IQ and how to know if you're simply a crazy mother.

I soon decided I should just take him to a psychologist. There they administered tests, where they measured just how bright he was. They told me they would get back to me when the results came back and Masen and I left happy and unaffected, him with a lollipop, and me with the peace of mind that I did my job as a parent and gave into my suspicions, if only to double check. And when a week passed and they never contacted me, I assumed he was just an average child and I moved on.

Hindsight being twenty-twenty, I should have called and asked but I figured if anything serious were occurring they would contact me themselves, they are doctors after all.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hello." answers a smooth male voice over the line.

"Uh, my name is Isabella Swan. I'm returning a call to this number; you left me a message regarding my so, Masen Swan."

"Yes, Miss Swan I have everything right here, I'll patch you through to Doctor Hunter, one moment." The light English voice says before leaving me to wait as a light tune plays through the phone, a violin and piano playing together in perfect harmony.

My stomach is knotted in anticipation, curling and uncurling, only to curl itself tighter, making me feel nervous and on edge.

"Hello, is this Isabella Swan?" This voice is still smooth, but slightly rougher and deeper than the previous, it's English accent strong and pronounced.

"This is."

"My name is James Hunter; I'm one of the psychologists who worked with your son a few months ago. I'm very sorry to say that your sons results were misplaced shortly after his visit, needless to say the assistant responsible has been let go as we only just came across his paper work a couple of days ago, we're truly sorry for getting back to you on such short notice." He sounds genuinely sorry; agitated at the fact that something went wrong and remorseful for the inconvenience even though it's not his fault.

"It's fine really, no harm done I'm sure." I try, not wanting him to feel bad about it. Not overly bad anyway.

"No Miss Swan, it's not." I can practically hear him shaking his head. "Well, once we found Masen's papers we ran them through of course, in as timely a way as possible and your son has shown extraordinary results."

"Extraordinary for a three year old?" I ask my voice barely above a whisper.

"Extraordinary for anyone," my heart stopped beating "seeing as Masen is only three we use different methods for determining a child's IQ, Masen scored a 228; however that is a mental status ratio IQ which is used for children. Adult IQs are measured by standard deviations, in which Masen's adult IQ would compute to about 185."

"So what exactly does this all mean?" I ask him.

"It means Miss Swan, that your son could very possibly do amazing things in the future. Because Masen is so young, his IQ can still rise, even from his already immensely high score." I try and take a moment to figure out what I can do for Masen, but I have absolutely no idea how to raise a genius. Then again I've not many ideas on how to raise a child in general. All things considered I think I've done a pretty good job. When I don't say anything I hear Dr. Hunter take a deep breath, "I know this is a lot to take in, a shock really, but I have more news if you're up to hearing it.

I mutter a quiet, almost inaudible yes, before he starts talking again. "As you know the practice I work for has many doctors on staff and we're very well known, and recognized in the medical community, we have many connections with things relating to our practice as well. When I learned what your son's results were, I thought of all the possibilities there were for his situation. There's a private school in the South East of England, in Buckinghamshire to be exact, called "Dawn Academy", normally tuition is quite costly but with Masen's results, they've offered him a free ride scholarship."

I wasn't sure what to say, there was so much information being thrown at me at once. "School? But, he's only three."

"It's normally best for gifted children to start encouraging academia early, Masen may only be three but it's usually best to nurture a child's genius sooner rather than later."

"So it's best for him to start school now?" I ask.

"In my professional opinion I believe it's best for him to take this opportunity, Dawn is one of the best Institutes in the world, children who have gone there have come back into the world and done great things in science, medicine, the arts, you name it. The school year starts in September on the twelfth, seeing as all this information has come to you so late, I talked it through with the head master and they said the school would be more than happy to allow Masen a late admission given the circumstances."

Everything seems to be happening all at once, good news, confusing news, scary news but worst of all heart breaking news.

"I've emailed you everything regarding Masen's test results and the papers and all the information on the school. I know this is a lot of information to take in all at once, and I know it involves a lot of big decisions on your part but I urge you to make your decision in as timely a way as you can. He's been offered late admission but it'll be easiest for the school and for you and your son if this is dealt with soon."

"Dr. Hunter. I've recently made plans to move Masen and I to the US, so we could be closer to family."

"Are those plans permanent Miss Swan?"

"Well nothings set in stone but - "

"Miss Swan, if there is a way for you to stay in England, you should. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for your son, I understand family is important but they can always visit, or you can visit them. But your son's future is most important and this is the best opportunity available." Though his words were rather demanding I could tell he was only trying to help.

"I'll see what I can do, thank you very much Dr. Hunter." I say in a kind, but scared voice. We each say our polite goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

I set my phone down on the coffee table across from me, and simply sit there and stare at it. I don't know how long I sit there for, but eventually the sky outside goes from black to a dark blue, the rising sun off in the far East just beyond a distant mountain, bringing a new day.

And all it makes me think is,

What the hell am I going to do now?

***note*: When Masen got the tests done he was only two, but has since turned three. The doctors obviously know that because they have his paper work, birth certificate, etc. So they know he has aged. **

**For anyone who's wondering I did do my research on this subject but for the record there is no academy called Dawn Academy in Buckinghamshire. **

**If my research is wrong I'm so, so sorry but I really did try to be as accurate as possible and in my opinion everything was from reliable sources. But if not, I apologize.**

**Again, because I always ask….**

**Please Review! **

**Thank you for reading :) **


	16. Chapter 14: Heated Arguments

**Early update because I got into the writing mood! Hope you all like it, don't forget to follow if you want to know what happens next and review to tell me what you think!**

EPOV

When Bella called me this morning she sounded sad and heart broken. And I still can't quite piece together why, seeing as Masen's arm will heal perfectly.

I jump at the sound of the door bell ringing and rush to answer it. She stands there in the door way biting away nervously on her plump bottom lip, head down cast, big doe eyes looking up at me under a fringe of long, dark lashes.

"Hi," she squeaks out in an almost inaudible voice.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediately, I want nothing more than to comfort her sadness, hug her close and kiss her pale temple.

"Can I come in?" she asks. I nod and move out the way, closing the door and shaking my head at myself as I follow behind her into the living room.

She sits down on the couch and I follow beside her. When she meets my gaze her brown eyes are apologetic and brimming with tears, her lower lip trembling ever so slightly.

"Baby, are you okay?" I ask her and that does it. A sob breaks from inside her throat before she wraps her small arms round my neck, burying her face in the crook of my neck and sobbing muffled cries. I hug her with one arm so it's wrapped all the way around her small waist, my hand splayed on her stomach atop her deep blue sweater. With the other arm I rub her back in small, soothing circles.

We stay like that for what could have been five minutes, one minute or an hour and eventually she sniffles a bit before mumbling, "I'm so sorry Edward. I'm so, so sorry." She hiccups a bit, while I mull over her words, confusion settling in.

"Bella shhh, it's alright, I thought we were getting past the apologies." She only cries harder and repeats her apologies.

"No Edward, not that..I mean we – Masen he -" she looks up at me again and crushes her face back into my neck, burying it in deeper mumbling, "I'm so, so sorry," over and over again. She cries into my neck as my heart stops beating, wondering what this could be about.

She pulls away to look in my eyes, her lively chocolate orbs are now red and puffy, she bites her lip now redder than ever, on the verge of bleeding, from how hard she's biting it and she slowly shakes her head to herself.

"Masen he, he's – and I have to – I can't fail him like I failed you." Each of her sentences runs into the other, her mind unable to decide what it wants to say, leaving gaps and confusion in its path.

"Bella you have to slow down." I rub her arm to try and calm her. "Take a deep breath alright?" she does, " 'Kay now just let it out." She does. "Alright now please explain to me what the hell is going on."

She nods her head, mahogany waves falling into her face and she pushes her thick mane back in frustration with a tiny huff.

"Okay." She takes a breath and continues with "Masen and I can't move here. We can't move at all. I'm sorry, when this visit ends; I'm taking him home with me." Her expressive brown eyes are sad and apologetic, a little 'v' formed between her brows and a frown gracing her full lips.

Anger flares inside me, all I can see is red. "At least this time you had the decency to tell me you were leaving." I spit out angrily, standing up from the couch so I tower over her. "You can't do this again Bella, not when I know. Just because you don't want me doesn't mean you get to decide what Masen wants, what he needs. I'm his father for fucks sake." I glare down at her.

Hurt washes over her face and I almost regret saying anything, almost.

"Edward no..that's not what this is about at all. I swear, I – I know he needs a father but this isn't about you. It's about my son. _Our _son." She looks at me with a pleading expression. "Please just calm down and let me explain."

"Fine." I huff and take a seat in one of the arm chairs across from her seat on the couch. "Talk."

"Masen's a genius." She states simply. "Not a genius like he can spell his name or count to one hundred, so yay for the toddler." She does a little sarcastic jazz hands in the air as she says yay. "I mean he's a genius like, change the world one day, Einstein kind of genius." She huffs again, "I'm not explaining this right. Okay so around ten months or so ago, when Masen was still two, Jasper and I took him to a psychologist. He was progressing mentally really well, really quickly, he could already read, he could remember things I had said months ago when I thought he wasn't even listening.

"At the doctor's office they did some tests with him and then told me they'd get back to me when they could. They never did, well, until now. They called my aunt, who called me and gave me their number and they told me his paper work was misplaced and they told me his real results and he really is a genius." She met my eyes for the first time since she started her explanation. "He got into this school too; the doctor pulled some strings and got him a scholarship to a private school in Buckinghamshire that specializes in cases like Masen's."

"So that's it then? I get to see him for what? A couple more days? Then that's it? I'm left alone, to wallow in my own grief, while my child and the mother of said child go prance about in merry England?" I add the last bit sarcastically though I can't keep the hurt and disgust out of my voice.

"Edward, I would ask you to come with us in a heartbeat, but your life is here. Your family. Masen and I, we're used to being on our own, to it being just us. We can get by without family close, we've been doing that for a while now, but I can't ask that of you." She sighs, "This school is his best shot, they can help him be the best he can be. I'm his mother, he comes first."

My rage flares on. "If you hadn't taken him to away in the first place, you wouldn't be taking him away now. You can't keep running from your problems Bella, from _me._ If you hadn't done that originally we would have found something for him here, why can't we do that now?"

"You don't think I thought of that? I looked; I looked at schools in Washington, hell schools in the country, schools in Canada. But nothing, nothing compares to this one. This is the ultimate best of the best and not only do they want him, but they're making _exceptions_ for him.

"This isn't about me running, this about me choosing. _Choosing_ for my son and not I, and I choose a successful future for Masen, I choose the best I can offer him."

"And look at what you're choosing over Bella!" I yell at her in frustration. "You've chosen over him having a family, a father, grandparents, you're not only taking him away from me but from my _family_, your family. How can this be better for him?"

"Because there's email and Skype and phone calls and planes!" She yells right back. "You can still be his father! You will always be his father Edward! You can talk on Skype to him, on the phone, we can come back and visit on winter breaks and summer, you can come see him whenever you want to and the same goes for your family. I'm not cutting off contact, or even visitation. I'm just choosing his future over simplicity.

"I'd rather have it be a little difficult to keep up relationships, than cut him off from big opportunities. He won't understand now, but he'll understand in the long run that his is what's best for him. He doesn't even know there was ever a plan to move here! He's not missing anything." She mumbles the last bit under her breath.

"Not missing anything Bella?" I whisper. I can feel tears of my own stinging the backs of my eyes, threatening to surface but my fury supersedes my hurt. "Well I see you've made all the decisions necessary Bella, I'm so glad to know you've left me out of something so important, yet again." I glare at her through glassy eyes and make to leave.

I hear her small feet shuffle quickly across the hardwood floor and her tiny warm hand grasp my arm. "Edward please, please don't do this, don't run like me, stay, please." I turn to look at her, my green eyes meeting wide shiny brown ones. "Please understand, I can't fail him. Not like I've failed everyone else…not like I failed you."

I look at her, and see how broken she is, beautiful and broken. Small, barely there bags have taken home beneath her eyes, stealing their usual light. Her skin normally a flawless pale, seems to have lost its natural glow. The light that always follows her, that gives her that angelic Bella glow, has dimmed and the only way for her to get it back, is for me to let it go. But I just can't. Not this time.

"Where is he, Masen, where is he now?" I ask, slightly worried.

"Lord Edward he's not gone yet! I wouldn't take him away without at least saying goodbye." She looks genuinely hurt, her lips in a pout.

"Bella _you _left without saying goodbye, I can't just assume that's going to change."

"Edward I'm so sorry for what I did, I've said that over and over and over again. I broke us and I'm sorry! I made a bad decision but I was scared! I was a pregnant teenager, forgive me for not being in a good state of mind." She rolls her eyes, "I did what I thought was right and I know now that I was wrong, but neither of us anticipated that we'd be one of those couples the condom doesn't work for, that we'd be in that small percent where our safety wasn't so safe. We weren't prepared, how could we be? And me with no idea what to do, I panicked and I made a bad call but I'm not that teenager anymore, I'm a mother and a good one considering the circumstances, and this isn't some rash decision." She exhales harshly as she comes to her finish. "I know I should have at least told you, given you a chance to talk me out of it, but I didn't, what's done is done and I'm so, so sorry." A single tear slides its way down her cheek, leaving a thin wet trail in its wake.

"Why couldn't you have told me Bella…" It wasn't so much a question, more a moan of my agony.

"I'm sorry.." she says brokenly. In this moment of our misery, when we're both so broken and torn apart, I'm pulled to her like I always am. We come flush against one another, heat radiating from her small body. My hands come up to cup her face.

"Me too," is all I can mutter before my lips crash to hers and I surrender with a moan.

**Ooooo, duh duh duh! **

**Nah…but they're totally gonna do it. ;) Anyone else watch "That 70's show"? **

**Anyway, I want to take the time once more to thank everyone who reads, follows, favourites and reviews. You all mean the world to me and I love you all **

**So again, I know there are a lot of people who read this but only a hand full review and I really want to hear from everyone, so if you're new and have never reviewed or old but never reviewed how about you do it now? **

**Please Review!**

**-Claire **

**P.S**

**If you like my writing style and everything please check out some of my other fanfictions if you have the time. I have one other for twilight that actually involves all of our favourite supernatural creatures! And then some for TV shows I like. **

**I'm also working on one involving a teacher Edward and an Irish Student Bella. Rated M, but it's not finished yet. **

**For those of you who don't know I'm actually from the UK, but my family and I relocated to Canada a little bit ago. **

**Okay I'm done, Thanks for reading! **


	17. Author's Note 2:

**Author's note: Please read :)**

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates! Exams are going on and I'm a bit of a mess about it, you see Canadian history is really boring so I haven't retained any of the information they've been teaching this semester.. it's just too boring. So lately I've been studying like a mad man trying to remember all this shit for the sake of passing the course with at least a B... which will probably not happen, but how about we all just wish me luck okay? Okay.  
**

**Anyway.. I don't have a new chapter so i'm sorry if this tricked anyone but I can't find the time to write anything major between studying, so I thought the least I could do was make an authors note giving you an explanation. **

**For those of you who are grammar Nazi's like me, you've most likely noticed how my chapters are very clearly un-edited, the main reason being I am happy to edit others work, but my own not so much. I honestly am just not bothered enough to edit my own work. **

**So guys, i'm looking for a beta to edit my previous chapters and then the upcoming ones once I've written them. **

**If anyone is, would like to be or knows a beta please let me know by PMing me and/or reviewing on this authors note. **

**Sorry again and thanks for reading :) **

**Love you guys,**


	18. Chapter 15: Too Many Tears

I wake with a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped around my torso. I glance at the clock on the nightstand and thankfully it only reads a little past 2 in the afternoon. I have time. I close my eyes again and allow myself to snuggle a little deeper into Edward's embrace. He smells like soap, and freshly washed clothes.

I wish I could bring myself to change my mind. Masen would never know the difference; there must be a school in the states somewhere for him to go. Maybe I am running, maybe I am scared. I cry too much, I whine too often, I make up too many excuses. I sigh, and blink open my eyes, met with the soft afternoon light seeping into Edward's old bedroom.

I try to crane my neck to see the floor, but Edward stirs and I still. I sigh again and gently as I can, I peel his arms from my body and I immediately miss his warmth. I pull the blankets off my legs, slowly untangling the white sheets. I step onto the floor and my feet are cushioned by the soft carpet. I turn again and though Edward has moved, he hasn't woken. I pull the covers back up his body, shielding him from the slightly cool air.

I pick up my clothes, which are scattered across the floor, aside from my bra which was flung atop the desk lamp; my cheeks flush though there's no one here to see it. I pull on my clothes, and turn back to Edward to see him still asleep, a gentle five o'clock shadow graces his strong jaw, his dark lashes form shadows on his chiselled cheek bones and his hair shines like a penny, catching the sunlight.

I can't leave him. Not after this, he still loves me, I've always loved him. He wants me, most importantly he wants Masen. A tear slides down my cheek as I watch him sleep, but I smile. I wipe away the tear and promise myself, or at least hope to myself, that it will be the last one for a while.

I walk over to his desk and write him a note, then leave it on the pillow I had slept on. I run my fingers through his soft hair and he smiles lightly in his sleep. I lean down and kiss his temple, whispering in his ear, "I love you. I'm so sorry."

I walk out his bedroom door, shutting the door quietly behind me.

**Sorry it was so short, I'll add to it later. I thought you guys deserved something though, even if it's short, it's all I've got at the moment. **

**Thanks for understanding. **

**Please review..**


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